Inner Turmoil
by FiFiFairy
Summary: Kendall Knight is about to experience things no one ever should.
1. Chapter One

_**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Big Time Rush, no matter how much I wish I did. Besides, all the shit that's going to go down in this? Doubtful it would ever happen in real life. Touch Wood.**_

_EPICINTHE PROCESS._

"FANMAIL!" Carlos screamed, as the four boys sat down around the table at Rocque Records, Gustavo emptying three bags of mail in front of them.

"Enjoy. Now, remember what not to do, Dogs, or there will be more of what happened last time!" all four of them remembered Jenny Tinkler and the mishaps that happened with that. Carlos winced in memory. Kendall smirked.

The four boys ripped into the mail, the gifts with an excitement none of them could repress. Paper, envelopes, bright stuff, and lots of noise were all that could be heard for a while.

"Ooh, I got a Care Bear!" Carlos exclaimed, cuddling the small bear to his chest and grinning proudly. James rolled his eyes, a grin shining on his handsome face.

"Someone sent me a new comb! Oh, my God, how do they know about my love of combs?"

"Because, idiot, we do interviews and you can never shut up about your lucky combs," Logan said logically as he read a letter asking for advice… on what a girl should do to keep her boyfriend faithful. He snickered, before picking up the next piece. This went on in a similar fashion for the next few minutes, before they realised that Kendall hadn't said or done anything.

The three boys looked over at him, and saw he was reading a letter intently, with a new beanie clutched in one hand. There was a small frown rarely seen between his thick eyebrows.

"What is it Kendall?" Logan asked gently. Kendall jumped, looking up at them. Confusion marred his pale features, his green eyes narrowed slightly, as though considering, before glancing back down to the letter and began reading out loud.

"_Kendall!_

_How are you? I've missed you! You didn't talk much to me at the meet and greet, what was with that? I had waiting so long to meet you, and then you just shrugged me off. You sounded so nice in your letters. You have an amazing voice. Sing to me? I listen to your voice every day; I have a picture of you in my shower. And I carry one in my wallet. _

_I think about you every day and night. You mean so much to me. So, I thought you'd like this beanie. I bought it with you in mind, but because there has been no more meet and greets I had to send it in the mail. It really annoys me. I want to see you again. You smell so good. Like vanilla and strawberries. _

_I love you Kendall Knight. I can't stand going an hour without seeing at least a picture of your face. Give me your cell number so I can talk to you? Thank you. You are so sexy. I can't wait to be held in your arms again._

_Forever and always."_

"Does it say who it's from?" James asked, curiously. They all felt a bit weirded out by this letter, but none as much as Kendall did.

"Nah, it didn't. There's like two other letters here that I haven't read, but I'm about to." He paused, picking up one of the other letters.

"_Kendall, why haven't you replied to my message? Have I done something wrong? I can't believe this; you are giving up on us. Why won't you reply? I need to hear from you. You are making things very difficult for me. I saw you yesterday; you never even looked my way. Am I invisible to you? How dare you treat me like this! I thought we had something special! You better reply, Kendall."_

Kendall looked up at his mates, his eyes wide slightly, before he ripped open the third letter.

"_OMG, how could you do this to me, to us? Things are going to get ugly soon. You need to see me, tonight at seven thirty, at the park across from Rocque Records. Be there."_

Kendall looked at his friends, they all had similar expressions of shock on their faces, but Kendall's was filled with fear.

"Who is this person?" he asked quietly. Logan picked up the last letter, his hands shaking.

"_This is unbelievable, Kendall. You don't reply to my messages, you don't show up when you are meant to. How am I supposed to trust you? You are ruining this. You will pay!"_

"What the hell, guys?" everyone was staring at Kendall, who was looking on the verge of freaking out completely.

A phone beeped, causing them all to jump. Kendall pulled his out.

"_You Will Pay!" _was written on his phone, sent from an unavailable number. Kendall felt his heart sink, and full out panic set into him. His breathing was heavy, and he felt like crying.

"Guys!" he exclaimed, "What am I meant to do?" his voice was shaking, and he threw the beanie in his hands away from himself. "How did they get my number?" he set his phone down, and stood up, backing away from the table, his back hitting the wall. He hung his head, pulling at his hear.

"James, get Gustavo, now!" Logan commanded his friend, who didn't hesitate. Barely a minute later, Gustavo and Kelly were bustling into the room, similar expressions of curiosity on their faces.

"So, Dog, you have a stalker, it appears. Not to worry. Rarely does anything come about from them. They are all mouth and no action. Just keep an eye out for anything. And don't hesitate to call the police. Every celebrity gets a stalker at some point. Miley Cyrus, Madonna, etc. You know you are good when that happens." Gustavo said to them, trying to sound reassuring, but not managing it brilliantly.

"Okay, that's enough mail for this week Dogs, go home, rest up. We want you back here bright and early tomorrow for some more rehearsals. Three hours of harmonies, six of dance. Now, get!" the big man commanded loudly. Kelly waved the boys out, seeing them off to Freight Train, who was driving them. She rested her hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Kendall, everything will be fine," she said, before walking back into Rocque Records.


	2. Chapter Two

_**Disclaimer: **__Big Time Rush is not my property. Sadly._

_So, OSAMA BIN (FUCKING) LADEN! About time too. Let's celebrate with an update! __**How'd all you guys find out?**__ I read about it on Facebook when I first signed in, at exactly the same moment as my big sister. Complete and utter freaking shock. So glad though. Keeping my eye on the news now though, waiting for a mass backlash. Opinions?_

_I should probably point this out: I have a love of different points of view. More, I really like third person, and I ADORE second person. So, sometimes, second person will be added in, if I think it adds a little something more to the story. Not in this chapter though. =]_

_Thanks to everyone that reviewed =] it really made my day! (So don't stop there!)_

**Let Chapter Two Commence**

The sun was shining brightly down onto the Palms Wood pool, where multitudes of teenagers were relaxing comfortably, in the relative safety of the hotel/apartment block (relative safety, because whenever there was a member of Big Time Rush around, there was bound to be accidents occurring).

Logan was reclining on a beach chair, in the company of Camille, a massively thick maths text book in his hands, he had tried several times to quiz his girlfriend, but she shut him down every time, not even trying to deny her disinterest in maths. After all, she liked him for his looks and his personality, not his talents in mathematical equations and maths was not her strong point.

Carlos was busily trying to see how far away he could get and still land in the pool. So far he had managed two and a half metres, but he was absolutely positive he could make it from the lobby doors, so he kept trying, despite the constant face-planting of the ground that was occurring. There _was_ a reason he wore a helmet after all, he wasn't that stupid.

James was happily working on his tan, eyes shut, hair just so, and topless. He was positive he could hear a few girls sigh, whenever they walked passed him. His mouth twitched into a grin, and he adjusted his position slightly, hands behind his head, ankles crossed. He really loved his life.

Meanwhile, Kendall was sitting, hunched over on his beach chair, not too far from his mates, hair gripped in his hands, glasses covering his green eyes, and thoughts racing through his head. Why was he the one getting a stalker? He didn't want one. Seriously, he could happily go without. He sighed, shaking his head, and jumped when a voice spoke from above him.

"Why are you moping? Did Carlos break your favourite hockey stick?" Katie asked casually, looking down at her big brother.

"No," he groaned, barely looking at his little sister. When she continued to stare at him, one hand on her hip, eyebrows raised, he continued. "We opened some fan mail today,"

"And, you're sulking because? You didn't get any?" she laughed, patting her brother's shoulder. Kendall glared her down.

"As a matter of fact, I did. A beanie and several disturbing letters," his sister laughed again.

"Oh, what? Did someone describe how your eyebrows remind them of caterpillars, and you should wax them?" she joked, but stopped laughing when her brother continued to frown.

"It wasn't like that, Katie; they were kinda creepy and really possessive. Then, straight up after I read the letters, I got a message," he said, holding his phone out to her.

Katie's eyes widened marginally, her mouth narrowing.

"Who is it?" she asked, her defensive attitude coming out. Nobody messed with her big brother and got away without at least some form of retaliation from her. Teasing and mocking Kendall was her job and hers alone.

"That's the thing, we don't know, none of the letters were signed with a name. Gustavo says not to be too worried, but I can't help it. I never wanted crazy stalker fans. This was never meant to happen!"

"Aw, come on, Kendall, even if it is a really crazy person, you can take 'em on. 'Sides, you have the other guys backing you. They rarely leave your side. You'll be fine," she turned to walk away, but looked back at him.

"If anything does happen, let me know. I'll hunt 'em down and destroy them!" the two siblings grinned at each other, bumped fists, and Katie continued on her way to scam some more money out of people.

Kendal watched his little sister walk off. It never ceased to amaze him, how easily she could deal with any situation, or how protective she was of him, despite the age difference and him being the elder one. Though, he was just as protective of her.

"Come on, Kendall, afternoon tea time!" Carlos suddenly yelled out to him, from where he, James and Logan stood in the door to the lobby, waiting on him to wake up from his day dreaming.

He waved at them, hurrying over. Carlos wasn't one to keep waiting when there was a possibility for food. Actually, none of them were, growing males and all that.

"You aren't still worried about the stalker fan are you? Cos I'm so jealous right now, I mean, seriously, why you? You haven't got _The Face_!" James said, half joking, half serious. Kendall rolled his eyes.

"You can have 'em,"

"Ooh, really? You're the best!" James said mockingly. Kendall shoved him as they walked up to 2J. James shoved him back, and the two started bickering and shoving each other, until Logan turned and hit them both with his maths book.

"Ow, what was that for?" Kendall complained, staring at his friend with fake hurt eyes. He would not let the whole thing bring him down. He was stronger than that. Who would let three letters and a message get you down? Besides, it was probably just a hoax from Gustavo, trying to keep them on their toes.

"Cos! Now shut up, and stop shoving each other, you almost knocked me over," Logan snapped, grinning.

"You just wanted to hit us with your book, tryna make yourself feel like a teacher?" James yelled, whirling on the smaller boy.

Logan laughed.

"You know it,"

Kendall and James rolled their eyes and stopped dead.

"Where's Carlos?" they both exclaimed at the same time, all three turned to look for him, and found him several metres further back down the corridor, standing still, eyes distant.

"Carlos? What's wrong?" Kendall asked, rushing towards his unusually quiet friend worriedly. Carlos looked at him.

"I can't remember the routine, how does it go after…" he crossed his arms and did a quick spin. Kendall sighed in relief, smiling and then showing his smaller friend the next step. The other two joined in, and they walked the rest of the way to their apartment doing the dance moves for their newest song.

By the time they reached the door, they were all laughing and almost falling over themselves. The four of them barged through the door and entered the apartment, rushing for the fridge and the food it held.

A few minutes later, food piled up before them, they were contentedly eating, when Kendall's phone went off in his pocket. Casually pulling it out, expecting a message from Jo, he was shocked to find another message from the unavailable number.

"_Srsly. U don't even hav the decency to respond. I thort U were better. I no where U live. Im comin 4 U kendall." _ He read out to his friends. All their mouths dropping open, food spilling from Carlos'.

"Guys, I'm kinda getting really freaked out," he muttered, staring at them.

"Calm down, Kendall, it's probably just Gustavo messing with you. You know how he likes to keep you on your toes, probably getting you back for something you did before," Logan said logically. They all knew he didn't really mean it though, but they let the conversation drop. Kendall put his phone back in his pocket, but didn't delete the message.

Later that night, Kendall sat on the couch, in the living room, while everyone else was in bed, and pulled the messages out of his pocket. His eyes read, and re-read each letter.

_You will pay!_

It was becoming a mantra in his head. He tried to figure out what they meant. What he had done wrong.

_You're ruining everything!_

What was he ruining? He didn't remember ruining anything, except his chances of being a hockey star. He stared blankly at the TV before him, eyes not seeing the black screen, just seeing the words written on the paper.

His phone vibrated.

Nervously, shaking hands pulled it out of his pocket, bringing it before himself, reading the message on the screen.

_One… two… coming for you ;)_

The phone slipped from his fingers.


	3. Chapter Three

_**Disclaimer:**__ We all know the drill. I am not, whoever it is that invented our lovelies. *sigh*_

_I met up with my best friend accidentally today. Whilst wearing a brand new pair of flats. Worst decision ever. Feet are blistered and bruised from five hours of walking. You heard me, five hours! So, I ended up doing grocery shopping bare footed. BOGAN!_

_So, the tornado that swept through Auckland. Went right passed where I lived when I was there. Still waiting to hear if my friends are alright. My heart goes out to all those affected. What is Mother Nature doing to the world? Earthquakes, Fires, Floods, Cyclones. It's all happening down Aust/NZ end of the world atm. Just glad none of it has affected me yet. Fingers crossed none of it hits Tassie!_

_Ok, onwards and upwards._

_**Chapter Three.**_

*BANG*

Eyes wide, hands shaking, mouth forming a silent 'O', Kendall looked around him. _Nothing_.

*BANGBANG*

He flew off the couch, realising it was the door. Someone was knocking. His eyes felt as though they were going to pop right out of his head, he pressed his lips into a thin line and ran to the door, ripping it open as fast as he could. A shrill scream left his lips, and he instantly felt embarrassed.

"Oi, your idiot friend left this down by the pool,"

It was just Bitters, only evil, annoying Bitters. Kendall sighed in relief. The fat man thrust Carlos' helmet into Kendall's chest, grinned evilly and walked away, laughing evilly.

Kendall stared after him, his breathing calming down as he closed the door. He glanced casually at the helmet and saw something stuffed inside it. He pulled the door back open and stared down the corridor, but Bitters was already out of sight. He slammed the door shut again, and leaned heavily against it, one hand covering his mouth in shock.

_This isn't happening, _he thought furiously, as he pulled out the beanie from earlier at the studio. Pale grey and so tenderly soft to the touch. He stared at it in disgust. How the hell…?

Kendall let out a feral sounding growl, heading back to the couch, where he had left the letters and his phone, still where it had landed. The screen was lit up.

He picked it up, and read the newest message.

_Surprise!_

A look of realisation dawned on his face and his whole body relaxed. It was so obvious now. He took off at full speed, and woke his three best friends up, and had them sitting on the couch, before him, all yawning tiredly, and barely awake, but sitting, leaning against one another.

Kendall was almost bouncing with joy.

"I know who the stalker is!" he exclaimed excitedly. All three boys were awake and alert straight up, grins lit up their faces, as they realised it obviously wasn't that bad a person.

"Who?" Carlos asked, grinning.

"Bitters!"

Logan began laughing. Laughing so hard, he was doubled over and making no noise.

"Bitters?" James asked, clearly not seeing how Kendall came to this conclusion.

"YES!" the blonde boy yelled, than more calmly. "There was a knock on the door, I opened it, and it was Bitters. He had Carlos' helmet," he handed the helmet to his friend, who grinned in thanks, and continued, "Inside the helmet was the beanie that the stalker sent me. And I got back to my phone and I had a message saying 'surprise'." Kendall looked so excited and relieved that the others couldn't help but believe him. It wasn't like he often jumped to conclusions.

"Okay, then, what are you going to do about it?" Logan asked logically, eyebrow raised, head tilted to the side. Kendall considered it, but it was James the responded.

"Ooh, I know!" he exclaimed, grin lighting up his face, finger pointing to the roof, as if indicating a light bulb. He jumped up, ready to take the 'centre stage'.

"We gear up, and we sneak down and confront Bitters. He won't be able to deny our allegations!" the tall brunette said grinning. The other three grinned in return, happy to have something to do.

"GEAR UP!" Kendall bellowed. The four boys scattered and returned in minutes, all of them dressed in their hockey gear, hockey sticks in hand. The smirks on their faces as they realised how they'd all had the same idea would've amused anyone.

They exited their apartment, funny run, crouches, and commando rolls, the whole shebang. Logan back flipped out of the lift when it reached the lobby, and the other three had their Hockey sticks raised as though they were baseball bats.

The light to Bitters' office was on as they approached, door wide open. The four of them peered around the doorway, and watched their suspect for a few moments. Their mouths dropping open in shock at what they saw. Their suspicions confirmed.

Mr Bitters was sitting at his desk, facing the opposite direction, holding up a doll. The doll had blonde hair and green eyes, and a flannelette shirt. The man was poking pins into the dolls eyes, an evil laugh escaping from his jowled mouth.

The four boys pulled back, eyes wide, mouths dropped. Kendall touched his eyes nervously.

'_Voodoo?'_ he questioned almost silently. They all peered back around the door. Silent gasps escaped all their mouths as they saw a pair of Kendall's missing vans sitting at the foot of Bitters' desk.

Without hesitation, all four boys backed away from the door and bolted back to their apartment, not even bothering with waiting for the lift, taking the stairs, two at a time instead. They tumbled into the apartment, Carlos last, slamming the door behind him and all four leaned heavily against it, waiting for their heart beats to slow down again.

"Oh, my God!" Logan exclaimed, breathing heavy and shaking his head in disbelief. There was no way it could really be true. Bitters was annoying, but evil, and stalker material? Was Bitters in love with Kendall?

"That's just sick," James burst out suddenly, heading for the couch. "I mean, seriously, Bitters? He's like, old and yuck and just EW. I'm glad it's you and not me, Kenny," he burst out laughing. Kendall glared at him.

"It's not funny, James, it's really creeping me out," Kendall moaned, glaring at his best friend.

James continued laughing.

"Sure it is. I mean, come on, what can that fat old man really do? It's not like he's going to hurt you. It also explains how he has your number and everything. Besides, it's Bitters!" James was howling with laughter by the time he was finished.

The other three were soon laughing too, realising the foolishness of it all. Bitters was Kendall's stalker. It was just hilarious to them. After a while of cackling, the four boys slowly headed to bed, now feeling truly relaxed for the first time since the whole stalker thing began that day.

After changing and laying in his bed for a while, amused at the whole situation, Kendall's phone vibrated. This time, it had to be Jo. He hadn't heard from her in a few days after all.

_Ding Dong the boy is wrong._

He felt his heart plummet as he read those six words. His gasp was loud in the silent room and he felt like his whole world just collapsed around himself. It was in those hours in the middle of the night, that Kendall decided _not_ to tell his friends that they were wrong. He had seen the way they all looked, nervous and afraid, afraid for him, up until those last moments.

There was no way he was going to make them suffer through this entire ordeal with them anymore. Steeling himself for anymore messages, he closed his eyes and let darkness take over, a mysterious figure dancing around the corners of his vision.

He awoke the next morning, head pounding, and a deep groan escaping his lips.


	4. Chapter Four

_**Disclaimer: **__It's mine, all mine! MY PRECIOUS! Omg, I'm losing it. Is this what happens when you become addicted to writing?_

_So, I really wanted to thank all my reviewers! You make my day, and make me keep wanting to update, not to mention make me want to update more than once a day. I have to restrain myself, or I look desperate, haha. I like to update daily, because, I remember when I was at college, I'd rock up an hour early, cos of my bus, and then I'd have nothing to do til class started, but there was this one story, that was updated every day, not long before I got to college, and so I'd have a new chapter to read. Haha_

_I'd also really really like to thank _DemiLenaJonasBTR_! I love reading your reviews cos they are so full of detail and you give awesome ideas! _

_Also, I'd like to give a HUGE thank you to the song __**Lux Aeterna**__ for giving me inspiration through every chapter. Seriously, if it wasn't for this song, I'd probably have given up on writing altogether. For anyone who doesn't know this song, it's one of the songs from Lord of the Rings, and Requiem for a Dream. _

_Forgive my rambling. _

**Without further Ado, Chapter Four :]**

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Logan was yelling for him to get up. Kendall groaned something unintelligible and rolled over. Getting up this day was not on his list of things to do. In fact, he would quite like to stay in bed for the rest of eternity, nice and warm and comfortable.

But _nooo, _because the next thing, his mother was in, yelling at him to get up.

"Kendall, it's nine. Get up and soak up this sunshine," she said happily. He was pretty sure his mother was asking for an early death, head pounding, he just wanted someone to shove a sock in her mouth.

"I'm up, I'm up," he grumbled croakily, licking his lips, trying to moisten his parched mouth, throat scratching. As he sat up, he realised just how much like death he himself felt. Rubbing his eyes, he looked around his room, discovering it empty. He shook his head, but quickly decided against it, as it made his head ache even more.

"Oh, no," he groaned, feeling the first signs of what he was positive was the flu. His week was just getting worse and worse. Sighing dramatically, he slowly stood up, stretching his limbs, cracking his back, before shuffling his way out of the bedroom and straight to the bathroom. A long hot shower couldn't hurt, so, slowly undressing, he then climbed into what he suddenly deemed the 'gift of the gods'. The water was scorching and he was sure he'd never felt more relaxed.

He relished in the warmth, rolling his head around, letting the spray massage tense shoulders, he felt he could fall asleep standing up. He decided against it, however, because he didn't need to hit his head. He did that enough in hockey.

In what felt like minutes, but he was soon informed was more like half an hour later, he was climbing back out of the shower, refreshed and ready for another day. The moment he wrapped his towel around narrow hips, the pounding in his head returned. He let out another frustrated groan, heading for his room and his clothes.

After dressing in silence, he checked his phone, dreading it when he found it flashing, alerting him to an unread message. He closed green eyes as he opened it, and quickly peeked out. A relieved sigh escaping as he saw it was from Jo.

_Breakfast at the pool?_

'_Well, how about that_!' He thought, well aware that he had missed her breakfast invitation by an hour or so, surprisingly, he wasn't too bothered by that fact, glad for the extra hour or so sleep he had managed to get, even if it meant missing out on seeing his girlfriend.

He left the apartment, banana in hand, and walked down to the pool. Jo was sitting by the pool, next to Camille, on the beach chairs. Her long blonde hair was falling over one shoulder and she was reading a script intently.

He walked over to her, leaning down and giving her a quick peck, standing back up, and trying to ignore the dizziness that overtook him. Glad when she didn't notice, he stepped back when he saw her glare.

"Thanks for the reply," she said, blue eyes narrowed. He frowned at her in return.

"Come on, I was asleep. It was early. You didn't really think I'd be awake at that time did you?" he asked her.

"You could've replied and said so," she said, her eyes hadn't lost the glare. It was like she didn't understand what sleep was. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, glancing around the pool, looking for any one of his mates. He saw Katie over near Buddha Bob; they were always thick as thieves, those two. She high fived the old man, and he roared with laughter.

Kendall looked back at Jo.

"I was sleeping. Me and the guys had a busy night. We had stuff to sort out. Didn't get to bed 'til late. I didn't reply cos I was sleeping. I'm sorry, Jo, I have to go. See you for lunch?" he asked, praying she would either say no, or be over her mood by then.

"Yeah, ok," she said reluctantly. Kendall took off for Katie. His sister watched his approach. Hands on hips, smirk gracing her tiny face.

"You're up late. Mum and Logan were yelling at you to wake up for hours. Logan was almost sure you were in a coma. We had to convince him you were just playing dead, to get him to leave you alone. But, seriously, you wouldn't even respond,"

"Uhh, okay," he said, nose twitching as he could only remember his mum yelling once, and the small possibility of Logan trying to wake up. He shrugged. Ancient history now.

"Where are the guys?" he asked instead, looking around for them again, but not seeing them.

"Dude, they're at Rocque Records, which is where you really should be. James was saying something about harmonies and dancing?" his little sister's smirk just grew larger as a look of dawning terror appeared on his face.

"Oh, no!" he exclaimed, smacking his face, "I'll see you around, Katie," he said, rushing off with a wave over his shoulder. He was just running through the lobby doors as Freight Train was coming in the front entrance.

"Gustavo sent me to get you. I think you're in trouble," the huge man said, picking the boy up, bridal style, and carrying him to the car.

"Yeah, I slept in. With everything to do with the stalker and such, I completely forgot about today," he sighed, staring at the back of the man's head. Freight train chortled with amusement.

"Yeah, the boys were telling Gustavo and Kelly about it. Bitters huh? Glad it's all sorted out, kiddo," the man said, glancing over his shoulder at Kendall.

Kendall sighed again.

"It wasn't Bitters. But you absolutely cannot tell anyone. I don't want the others to know it's still going on. I got a message when I went to bed, telling me I was wrong. I still don't know who it is," he stared out the window, hearing Freight Train sigh.

"Look, kid, it would probably be best if you did tell the others. But, I like you, and I want you to be able to trust me. So, I won't tell the others,"

"Thanks. But, why do you want me to trust you?" Kendall asked, actually curious. Confused as to why the man that worked for Gustavo wanted to earn his trust.

"Because, I'm looking after you and your friends. It's my job to protect you. And I can't protect you properly if you don't trust me. See, you boys don't actually need to know if there is a threat against you, as long as nothing actually happens to you," the big man explained, his deep voice soothing.

Kendall nodded his head, seeing the logic in that statement. He climbed out of the car when they arrived at Rocque Records, and slowly made his entrance, not really wanting to be there, especially not so late.

"You're all doing dance now. Sorry kid," Freight Train said, patting his shoulder and walking off. Kendall sighed and made his way to the dancing.

The three boys were sipping on their water, as Mr X babbled something about how they were still X-tremely bad dancers. James, Logan and Carlos were all busy rolling their eyes. But they all straightened up when Kendall walked in.

"X-kay!" Mr X exclaimed when he saw the blonde boy. "We can get X-started!"

And so six hours of vigorous dance practice began. While the other three got to stop for a few breaks, Kendall had to keep going through the first few ones, to make up for his missed Harmonies. But through the majority of the practicing, there were lots of yells and shouts of pain, a lot of falling on backsides, and a lot of proof that they really weren't dancers.

When Kendall was finally allowed a break, he just collapsed onto the floor, spread eagle, not even bothering moving from where he was standing. Sweat was pouring down his face and he was positive his headache had gotten worse.

He pulled his phone out to see two missed messages.

_Thanks for lunch. _He groaned as he remembered the promised lunch date with Jo, and opened the second message.

_Three… Four… Lock your door 3_

He felt his head thump against the floor. Closing his eyes in dread. He pocketed his phone, raising himself back to his feet awkwardly, and returned to dancing. His world feeling like it was on the brink of exploding, eyes narrowed in deep concentration, hands shaking and head thumping, he refrained from yelling and pretended everything was okay.

When dancing was finally done for the day, the four boys piled into the car, exhausted. None of them had the energy to talk, or even look at each other. There were a few grunts from each boy, but no words.

The walk up to their apartment was slow and they stumbled frequently. Kendall was the first one to get to their door, which was open.

His mind flashed back to the earlier message and he flew through the doorway, and saw nothing out of place, and no one home. He ran to his room and still couldn't see anything different. He sighed in relief. He flopped back on his bed, and felt something under his pillow.

He pulled out a black and white picture of him sleeping with writing on the back.

_I like you on your back. _

His heart plummeted, headache turning to migraine, he screwed the image up. Never had he hated his own image as much as he did then.


	5. Chapter Five

_**Disclaimer: **__No._

_So, here's the thing. I thought I would grace you all with a chapter I'm writing whilst intoxicated. Only because, its 5:42pm, and I started drinking at like 1:30 with my best friend while we were chilling in town cos we were bored, despite it being illegal. We were hoping we would then find someone to talk to, other than each other, but there were only kids, and old people. So we got drunk and walked around. Haha. _

_Thanks to my reviewers again. You lot keep me going. =] if it weren't for you lot, the story would've died in the bottom already._

**Ladies and gentlemen, Chapter Five.**

Thinking back on it, Kendall wasn't really sure how it all began. But he could pinpoint the exact moment where it turned from dour to amusing, and it was all courtesy of James.

"There I was, chilling by the pool, and this giant crocodile climbed out of it. All snapping jaws and green and scaly. And I was like, 'man, what the hell? Am I Steve Irwin?' and, man, I just pounced on that mother. The thing couldn't beat me, but it started snapping at me, and I was like 'CRIKEY!' but the crocodile didn't listen to me. I thought Crikey meant STOP!"

While James explained his wild dream, Carlos and he were sharing an eager look, both looking so excited. Kendall and Logan shook their heads.

"Dude, Crikey is just an expression of amazement, like Awesome," Logan explained, sharing a glance with Kendall. James shot him a glare.

"Really? Didn't know that. This _was_ a dream after all, idiot,"

The four boys were sitting around, relaxing, at some ungodly time of the morning. Mrs Knight had woken them all up, to let them know she was taking Katie shopping and would be bringing back all of them new clothes. None of the boys understood why she couldn't have just left a note.

So, the round of dream telling had occurred. They had already analysed Carlos' dream of corndogs and a lost hockey game.

"I think the crocodile signifies Gustavo and how he is the one that is holding you back from…" Kendall trailed off, a look of realisation dawning in his green eyes. "Oh god," he groaned, face palming.

"What?" James asked, his eyes wide, looking extremely worried, leaning towards his friend.

"We sound like a bunch of old women," Kendall said, shaking his head, "I mean, why don't we just go and grab some tea and start reading each other's tea leaves," James snorted in amusement, relaxing, while Carlos' excitement grew.

"Really? Can we?" he looked so happy, the other three didn't have the heart to tell him no, rather, they just ignored the entire question. Carlos' face fell and he muttered something about mean friends and how boring they were. Logan snickered.

"But, seriously, Steve Irwin, I can't believe his dead; he was totally my idol growing up!" James said, grinning happily.

Logan sighed dramatically.

"You do realise, that, according to research, the majority of Australians can't actually stand that people think they are all like him, and apparently none of them actually say 'crikey', it's just an exaggeration and an act," he said matter of factly.,

"Really, Logan, I don't actually care," James snapped, pulling out his mirror and comb.

Logan opened his mouth to snap back, but Kendall jumped in before they could continue their argument.

"Oi, let's go to the pool," at the word, 'pool' the other three were on the feet and ready to go, grinning like idiots, argument already forgotten. Kendall laughed at them, genuinely happy.

It was as they were relaxing at the pool, and seeing Bitters yelling at one of the other residents, that Logan broke their good mood.

"So, has anyone figured out why Bitters is Kendall's crazy stalker?"

Kendall rolled his eyes and shook his head. He really didn't want to think about this. But the others obviously found this an interesting enough topic.

"Well, I think it could be because, he's actually my fan, but wants to get rid of Kendall so that I can be the lead," James informed them all, grinning happily, as though he had actually come up with the answer.

Even Carlos groaned at that comment.

The four members of Big Time Rush were lying back in their beach chairs, glasses on, chatting, ignoring everyone else around them. It wasn't uncommon to see this sight, as, although they were all extremely popular there, they definitely preferred each other's company over others.

All four boys were watching Mr Bitters, over near the entrance to the pool, glaring out at the teenagers. He had something in his hands. They jumped up and raced towards the man, pushing passed him and running into the lobby. With Bitters yelling at them for running, they stopped, turned to look at him, and got a closer look at what was in his hands.

A brown haired, white V-neck wearing doll, with a comb in one hand and a mirror in the other, one of the man's beefy hands was pulling at the hair on the voodoo doll. All four boys gasped in shock and Bitters seemed to realise what he was doing. The doll disappeared behind his sweaty back.

"It doesn't work, I guess," the man muttered forlornly, walking back to his office glumly.

"HE'S NOT THE STALKER!" James yelled, spinning on Kendall. "You've been getting more messages, haven't you?" the question was asked with glares, and the three brunettes pushed the blonde to the lift and to their apartment.

Upon sitting on their couch, three sets of eyes were turned on Kendall.

"Ok, Ok, I didn't want to bother you lot," he stuttered out. "It's not that big a deal,"

"In other words, you're still getting the messages?" Logan asked. Kendall sighed, stood up, went to his room and returned with the photo. All of them stared at the picture, lines of worry creasing between their eyebrows.

"This is really disturbing," James said, shaking his head.

"Really? I don't even know how they got this photo. Guys I'm actually scared," Kendall admitted quietly.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, contemplating what was going on.

"Look, I'm only going to worry about it if anything actually happens,"

A few heavy sighs of nervousness later, Carlos turned the TV on, but none of them really payed any attention to it, but they remained silent anyway, until Mrs Knight and Katie walked through the door, arms laden down with shopping bags.

"Hey, boys, you all have to bags of clothes and a new pair of shoes," Mrs Knight said happily. Then she turned to Kendall, "Jo wants to see you, she's down in the lobby,"

Reluctantly, Kendall headed down to see his girlfriend, dreading what she had to say to him. Sitting in the lobby, she smiled pleasantly at him, as he walked toward her, there was a box sitting in front of her. He greeted her with a kiss, and sat next to him.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I was just really tired and took my tiredness out on you, forgive me?" she asked her smile so pleasant that Kendall couldn't not accept it, especially as she held out the box to him.

"This is for you," she said, her smile huge, excited.

He opened the box and stared down at the object, a necklace, a large cross. He picked it up, inspecting it closely, when his phone vibrated. Pulling it out, he read the words silently to himself,

_Five… Six… get a crucifix. Like your gift?_

Room spinning, heart thumping, he couldn't tear his eyes away from his phone.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it?" Jo asked, her lip quivering. Kendall glanced up at her, but instead of responding, he stumbled out of his chair and up to his apartment, ignoring his friends, he slammed his way into his room, and slid down the door.

He ignored the black spots that danced in his vision, as he felt as realised he had been holding his breath almost the entire run to his room.

As he sat there, trying to figure out who his stalker was, he ignored the tight feeling in his chest, the burning sensation in his throat and the constant shaking that had over taken his hands.

'_Side effects of fear'_ he thought to himself, gripping his hair, he felt his phone vibrate.


	6. Chapter Six

_**Disclaimer**__: We all know I own them. Obviously._

_So, I was such a talented Tim-tam, I woke up at some point after three this afternoon, because I sat up watching Beastly. Very good movie btw, maybe because I have the hots for Alex Pettyfer, haha. So, anyway, I woke up, came down stairs to check ffnet, and saw I had reviews, went to have a look at them, and COULDN'T SEE THEM! Because of the scheduled whatever it was. I was horrified, cos I didn't realise that was happening. And I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Seriously. Haha.  
>(Also, when I was coming down the stairs, I could barely walk, because of the blisters I have on my feet from my new shoes. So I've been dying!)<em>

_So I apologise profusely if this chapter is dodgy. _

_Thank you to everyone for reviewing. It makes the world go round, and the story continuing. _

_This will probably be my shortest chapter. But I really like how it is. I've been planning on making the chapters longer, but, we will get there at some point, haha._

_The majority of this chapter will be second person _

_**Bald headed kids I give you the Sixth Chapter.**_

You wipe your face, hands come back wet. When did the tears start? You're curled up on the couch, TV blaring loudly in front of you, not that you're paying it any attention. You're home by yourself. Your mates, they're off doing whatever it is they feel like. Not like any of you have to go to Rocque Records today.

You stare at your hands and notice they are shaking. The tremble starting at your fingertips and working its way along the entire length of your hands passed your wrists and up your arms. The fingertips of your left hand are pressed to your lips and you clench your eyes shut as tight as you can, as a shudder racks your entire body.

Shivering.

You aren't even cold; in fact, you're sweating profusely, hair stuck to your forehead and tears leaking down your pale cheeks.

When did you get like this? Shaky, cold and so freaking scared. Because you are scared. You've never been more afraid in your entire life and you feel like you are stuck in some endless pit of blazing heartbreak and devastation. Nothing is going right.

A freaking massive battle that you cannot seem to evade.

You feel like a small child, ready to run into the arms of your mother for the biggest and safest hugs in history, and she can just fix everything, because that's what mothers do. She will solve all your problems with a flourish, and then, she will send you off to play hockey with a massive squelchy kiss that you will pretend to wipe off, but will actually savour.

But, you aren't a small child; you can't turn to your mum for this. You don't want to cause her more heartbreak, you don't want to let her see you so weak and scared, because, you're a man now, you protect her; you make sure your mum is ok, because that's how you work.

There isn't a lot you wouldn't do for the people you love, whether it is lending five bucks or giving a kidney, you'd do it all. Except, you'd be really terrified, giving the kidney.

You growl in frustration, and throw the remote at the far wall, and it hits with a loud bang, breaking apart as it hits the floor. You don't regret that. You don't regret the swearing and cursing that escapes from your lips in the next few moments either. You just roll with it, letting it all slide out, knowing you will feel better for it after you are done.

After all, there is no one there to see your breakdown, no one to witness your weakness. So, really, this is the perfect opportunity for release. No repercussions. Getting really into your venting, you jump up and start stomping your feet, and why shouldn't you?

At some point in your rage, you punch a wall, and break a vase. Later you'll say you accidentally knocked the vase over, and the busted hand must be from hockey. They'll believe you. Why wouldn't they?

Before long, you're worn out, and exhaustion has set itself in your bones again. This just causes your frustration to increase, but the adrenaline has run out, and you feel yourself collapse back onto the couch, legs pulled up towards your chest, as you lay on your side, staring blankly at the TV with no interest. Later, you won't even remember what was on, or even, if you had the TV turned on at all. But, finally, your eyes slip shut and you slip off into sweet oblivion.

(BTR)

Nearing six o'clock, James, Logan, Carlos and Katie enter their apartment, laughing hysterically at the memory of Carlos' failed attempt at getting one of the Jennifer's, but only ending up with all three of them soaked and pissed.

"I can't believe Kendall missed out on seeing it," James said, laughing madly. Though they all stopped dead upon seeing their friend passed out on the couch. They walked over and stared at him.

"Oh, my god," Katie said, staring at her big brother in shock, seeing how much her brother could change in a matter of days, days filled with stress. "He looks so small," her voice was sad.

James wrapped his arm around her shoulders, always ready and willing to protect the little girl he thought of as a sister.

"It's the fear. We still don't know who the stalker is. We thought it was Bitters, and then Kendall found out it wasn't, but didn't tell us, but we figured it out ourselves," Logan said quietly.

"Bitters had a VOODOO DOLL OF ME!" James said, half hysterically, half amused. All four of them continued to stare at their sleeping friend.

It was Carlos that pointed out Kendall's phone on the coffee table. There would be the messages in that from the stalker.

"What's the last message?" he asked them quietly. Logan picked up the phone and accessed the messages.

"_Escape is futile."_


	7. Chapter Seven

_**Disclaimer**__: They're (not) mine. _

_Thank you everybody for your wonderful reviews. Every morning when I wake up, I have more, and it always makes me happy=] so don't stop there my dearies. _

_I really want to get exceptionally drunk right now, go to a party, or a club, and just have heaps of fun. Next Friday I will though. _

_I'm trying to remember what I've written over the last few chapters, and trying to make it a bit more… interesting I guess. I'm not very good at dialogue or anything. I love writing, and I'm not terrible at it, but I know I'm not the greatest haha. _

_I've been playing with bubbles today :) was heaps of fun haha. My sister got her son a balloon and bubbles, so I shot gunned the bubbles, as you do. _

_And finally, I know it's early and stuff, but this is my chapter dedicated to all mums out there. I might not post on Sunday, we shall see, but consider this Sundays post. Well, actually it will technically be updated on Sunday for me, so I guess it works. I actually dedicate this chapter to all mums, because I don't have one, and for ten years I'd been celebrating mother's day with my Nan, but she passed away last year sadly. She was the woman that raised me and my sisters from when I was eight. I loved her dearly. But this year, mother's day will be for my big sister who is a mother. (I'd like to say, this doesn't mean I don't love my mum, because I do. She is one of my TWO heroes. When I get scared, it's either my Nan or my mum that I think of as my guardian angel. I'm not religious, I'm mumiligious. Completely made up on the spot, because Mum's are the most important people in your life, except for children.)_

_HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all mums, nans, foster mums, step mums, and god mums. (Yes, I'm sorry, MUM, not MOM. Haha it's the Australian in me.)_

_**Chapter Seven Commences.**_

Fingers were stroking his hair, tenderly, lovingly. That was the first thing he noticed as he slowly came back to wakefulness. He could hear the soothing murmur of TV in the background, and could smell the fresh aroma of green tea and something so soothing and comforting, something so familiar, he couldn't not realise it was his mother.

His head was rested on her lap and she was stroking his hair whilst watching TV and drinking tea. He hadn't felt this safe in years. He let out a small sound of happiness, her fingers massaging exactly where his head pounded unintentionally, and her hands stilled.

"Kendall?" her voice was quiet and comforting. Out of all the voices he had ever heard, this was by far the most beautiful and angelic voice. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked up at her blearily.

"Mmm?" he asked sleepily. He knew he never had to actually vocalise what he meant, when it came to her, it was like she could read his mind.

"How're you feeling?" Soothing, relaxing. She had a soft smile on her face, but her eyes were worried, Kendall looked away, unable to see the worry that shined for him.

"Fine, Mum," he muttered, but he looked back at her, smiling back, "I love you, Mum," he whispered. She smiled, stroking his cheek. He hadn't seen her like this in years.

"I love you too, dear," she said, sitting back and taking a sip of her tea, before looking back down at him.

"The boys told me what's going on," she told him, her voice stern, and her hand rested gently on his cheek now.

He couldn't believe it, sure he hadn't told them not to tell her, but it hadn't even crossed his mind that they would. She could obviously see the anger coming through, and he tried to hold it back, for her.

"They were doing what they thought was best, dear, and I'm glad they did. Because now I can protect you boys. In fact, I called Gustavo an hour ago, and he is sending Freight Train over. He will be staying here as long as it is necessary, or until the whole stalker business is over. He should be turning up anytime now. Wherever you boys go, he will go too," her voice was strict and left no room for argument. But that had never stopped Kendall before.

He sat up quickly, head spinning from vertigo, reaching out to the back of the couch for balance, before turning around completely and facing his mother.

"No! That is not necessary. This is all so silly. We don't need Freight Train over all the time. I don't need him around all the time. The others aren't going to be Happy, Freight Train will just cramp their style, we are teens, Mum, we don't need or want a bodyguard," he growled, sounding more like a petulant child than a sixteen-year-old boy.

"I don't care, Kendall, your safety is more important than you style, and if that means you are having a bodyguard, then so be it. Get over it," she snapped. When she used that tone with him, he always felt like a little child, being scolded, and in a sense, he was.

As if on cue, though, there was a knock on the door, and his mother stood, walked to it, opened it, and did not seem surprised to see Freight Train standing on the other side. The man smiled nervously, and walked in, duffel bag in hand.

"Hello Mrs Knight, Kendall," he greeted them, letting Mrs Knight take his bag. He sat on the far end of the couch to Kendall, and the boy had a moment of spiteful thinking of _'the couch is going to break'_, but he instantly regretted it. He liked the man and had nothing against him. In fact, he much preferred the big guy to Gustavo. He was always friendly and kind to the boys, and had pulled them out of a sticky situation or two.

"Look, Kendall, I know you aren't really going to enjoy this. But, consider me your chauffeur. I get to take you wherever you want to go. I won't be right by your side at all times. I'll be in the background, away from you, unless you want me there. And I won't be around twenty four seven. Most of the time yes, but, there are other things I need to do as well. So, don't worry too much and hopefully we get all this sorted out very soon,"

Kendall nodded his head, ashamed, and offered the big man a small smile, in way of apology.

"Want to play Mario Kart?" he asked, pulling out a controller, as if from thin air. Freight Train laughed, and took the controller, and the two began playing.

It wasn't long before the other boys were joining them from their slumber, now awake and informed of the new arrangement.

The four boys and one man were sitting, playing games, acting like children, and Katie, who was standing next to Mrs Knight at the bench, was watching them, amused.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea? I mean, Freight Train seems to be as much of a kid as them," she told her mother. Mrs Knight shook her head with a sparkling smile.

"Don't worry about it, have you seen the way nothing gets passed that man? And how he can pretty much carry all four of those boys at once. They're in the safest hands we could think of,"

Katie sighed, glancing up at her mum, without the smirk.

"Let's hope so, because this is killing him, Mum. I mean, look at him, he's not our Kendall anymore," she was right.

Kendall was sitting on the couch, laughing as much as the other boys, but there was a shadow of something on his face, in his eyes. The smile didn't quite reach his green eyes, and his laugh didn't ring as true. The slouch to his shoulders that had never been there before, and the way his fingers would rub at his temples, as though trying to rub something away. Kendall never fidgeted. Yet, he seemed to barely be able to sit still.

"He's tired, mum," the young girl said sadly. Mrs Knight nodded her head.

"Let's hope this all gets sorted than,"

It was when Kendall was standing up that he realised just how tired he still felt. It was an exhaustion that reached into his bones. He felt like he could happily and easily fall asleep and never wake up again. The type of tiredness that saps the very energy out of your body, and he had to fight against falling back onto the couch and sleeping again.

They were heading down to the lobby when he got the message, phone vibrating in his pocket; he pulled it out and saw the 'unavailable' written on the screen.

_Ima damn ninja _

Reading the words, he felt so frustrated, so angry that he wanted to break something. In that anger an idea came to him. One he wasn't sure would play out well. Pressing Reply, he typed out a response.

_I'm the Boss._

He felt himself smirk as he hit send. Why the hell not, after all.


	8. Chapter Eight

_**Disclaimer**__: Negative to me._

_I just want to say, the whole IMA DAMN NINJA bit, is about, sure, Freight Train is there, but that doesn't mean they can't get past him. _

_OMG, I want to watch big time moms. :(_

_So, I went for a ride on my bike for the first time in ages, and went fishing with my sisters, bro in law and nephew. Was fun, but my bro crashed his car :O was scary and funny, cos it was just in the ditch up the road from home. Good thing my exes father was here, with his big car and shiz, cos he helped us get it out. Otherwise, dammmmmn we would've been screwed!_

_Thank you to everyone again: ) I am going to say that every chapter, but I mean it all the time!_

_And lastly, for some silly reason, my fingers aren't working properly, so if I miss any actual typos or whatever, than I apologise profusely. I'm all shakey and stoooof. So SORRY , cos I don't have a beta. Anyone up for the job? Haha._

_**Chapter Eightttttttt 3**_

Kendall could've slapped himself in the face for sending that stupid message in response. Almost straight up he had got a reply.

_This aint a game_

Well, no really? He wouldn't have guessed that one. Otherwise, he wouldn't be almost shittin' himself every time his phone vibrated. He glared at the piece of technology in his hands, despite the black screen.

He deliberated responding again. He was in the elevator, by himself and he hit the stop button. No one could get to him in here, like this. It was safer, even, than being with Freight Train. He slid down the back wall, and just stared.

Things would get easier, they had to. He sent the first logical thing he could think of back.

_Why?_

Any sane person may not reply, or if they did, they may tell their friends, but Kendall had never claimed sanity, and the last few days had made him feel even less sane and normal than ever before.

He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, he stood, and started the lift again, eyes clenched. The doors dinged open, and his eyes sprang open.

"Hey Big Bro," Katie was standing there, her little face upturned, and smiling at him. He could see the worry for him though, and how good she was at covering it. She stepped into the lift and pressed the number for their floor.

Kendall didn't get out, just stayed with her, silent, watching her, as the lift doors closed again, and started its upward motion.

"What's up?" her voice was the same as it always was. Hell, she even looked how she normally did. He had to remind himself that not everybody and everything had changed. Just him. He shook his head, turning and staring back at the door.

"Kendall, relax, you have Freight Train and me working on your protection," she told him, smirking at him. He nodded his head, trying to smile in return. It looked more like a grimace.

The doors opened.

Inside their apartment, it was a mess. Kendall looked around nervously, until he discovered the mess was actually caused by James, Carlos and Logan. The three of them were currently in the middle of an indoor hockey game.

This put a smile on Kendall's face and a roll of the eyes from Katie. She stalked off into her bedroom, and Kendall grabbed his hockey stick and joined in on the game.

James and Carlos against Kendall and Logan. The game lasted over an hour, with the devastating results of a cracked TV, three broken plates and a whole heap more mess that they knew they would have to clean up soon, preferably before Mrs Knight got back from wherever she was.

But, the fact of the matter was, Kendall was having fun. The boys ended up in a pile on the floor, bruised and laughing. Kendall was coming down with a black eye and a nosebleed, while James had a split lip. But, any hockey related injury was an injury well deserved.

Tired bodies struggled to rise, and four boys glanced guiltily around the room.

"Okay, so we need to get this place fixed before Mum gets back. We're going to need, brooms, rubbish bags, a new TV, more plates, and MCDONALDS," Kendall announced, with a happy sigh, and the work quickly got underway, Logan being the one designated with getting McDonalds, being the one closest to being able to drive.

It was the last thing they had to do and the most difficult, replace the TV before Mrs Knight got home and noticed it. All four boys stood before the black screen, staring at his, considering their next actions.

"Do you think she will even notice?" James asked, running his fingers through his hair contemplatively.

It was Carlos that shot him a look.

"Of course she will, she's female!"

"Of course I'll notice what?" Mrs Knight's voice came from the door behind the boys. They all span around and tried to hide the television with their bodies.

"What did you boys do to the TV?" she asked, her mouth hanging open in shock.

"We… uh… played hockey," Kendall admitted reluctantly.

The woman all four boys thought of as a mother began laughing. And the boys stared at her in shock. She was laughing, when they had broken what was possibly the most highly prized thing in their home.

'Damn, that sucks for you lot, now what are you going to watch, or play video games on," she didn't even sound angry, they were definitely confused.

"Huh?" was the general sound released from all four of them.

"Well, it's not like I really use it anyway, it's more you four. So, fix it if you want to use it, otherwise, who cares?" she said, continuing to laugh.

Kendall, James, Logan and Carlos exchanged bemused looks as Mrs Knight turned, and walked into her bedroom.

"Well, that was unexpected," Logan muttered, receiving three agreeing nods from his friends. They all turned back to the TV for a few moments, before shrugging and going their separate ways.

_Meet me by the pool, we really need to talk, _-Jo.

Kendall sighed, and walked down to the pool. He really dreaded this sometimes. Girlfriends were so difficult, especially when you didn't want to tell them something and not something bad either. He shook his head.

There she was, in all her blonde gloriousness. Reclining by the pool, shades covering her eyes, headphones in her ears. He sat down next to her.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked her quietly when she paused her music.

"I need a reason to see my boyfriend?" she asked, smiling at him nervously. He stared at her.

"You didn't like the present I got you yesterday?"

"You actually got me a crucifix?" he asked her, she shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, some fan gave it to me, it had a note on top saying it was for you," she admitted. Kendall's mouth fell open.

"What did they look like?" he asked, gasping for breath in shock. She shrugged her shoulders again.

"I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention, there were a lot of people," she said. Kendall sighed, but let the subject drop, not wanting her to know what was going on. He didn't know why he was doing this, except for the fact that he didn't like dumping his problems on people.

So, the two sat together, silent. Jo stared at him for a long time, before she frowned and muttered something about stupid boys, before telling him she was going back to her room. He shrugged, and gave her a hug and watched her leave. He wasn't bothered one way or the other. Lately, relationships hadn't been the main thing on his mind.

His phone started to vibrate. He pulled it out and answered it.

"Hello?"

"_Life is just a game to you. You're killing me, so I'm going to make you suffer,"_

The robotic call ended.

Kendall stared across the pool in shock as something splashed into the water. He grabbed whatever it was and felt his insides curl into a small ball as he saw what it was.


	9. Chapter Nine

_**Disclaimer:**__ Blah, blah, blah. No, I do not own, quite obviously. Haha_

_So, who's excited for chapter nine? I'm not, I'm nervous! Haha ;) Am I making you think something special is going to happen? Who knows, I haven't written it yet :P_

_OMG, today was soo cold, and tonight is meant to be even colder. 1 Degree :O I don't have a heater in my room either. I'm dreading going to bed haha._

_Thank you everyone for your amazing reviews. They keep getting better with each chapter, and I cannot believe the amount of them I have gotten. Seriously, when I first started, I was expecting maybe half a dozen at most. Not this much! :) you guys are the best!_

_Who else remembers in one of the first episodes how something happened, and Kendall was like 'Hockey Pucks!" instead of swearing. Haha. _

_And finally, I've been trying to get this chapter loaded for a few hours now, but ffnet won't let me for some _

_**Chapter Nine awaits ye young'uns.**_

Heart beat thumping, legs running, Kendall ran. Clasped in his cold hands was the object from the pool.

"GUYS!" he bellowed as he came skidding to a halt in the open plan living room.

His three friends were by his side instantly, Logan bumping into Carlos and knocking him over. As the short boy was climbing back to his feet, Kendall held the object out.

"A camera?" James asked, taking the small piece of technology. "Are we taking photos?" a comb was in his hand, brushing his hair into perfection. Kendall shook his head, refraining from rolling his eyes.

"It fell in the pool," he said, out of breath. His three friends eyed him warily.

"You stole someone's camera?" Carlos asked, "Cos that's really mean,"

"No," shaking his head, Kendall told them what happened. Looks of understanding appeared on his friends faces, and Carlos apologised. Patting him on the shoulder, Kendall turned to Logan.

"Can you find out what's on it?" It was Logan's turn to roll his eyes.

"Sure, it's not difficult, take the memory card out, and place it in the laptop. A blind monkey with half a brain could do this,"

James snorted, "Yeah, that's why he's getting you to do it,"

Glaring, Logan brought the first picture up, gasping.

"What? What is it?" Kendall asked desperately, looking down at the screen nervously. His friends peering down as well.

The first picture was of Kendall reclined by the pool, the guys with him. As they scrolled through the images, they all felt their skin start to crawl. No matter where they were, there were photos. Even times when it was just the four of them.

They stopped dead, as they came across a photo of Kendall in the shower, bottle of shampoo up to his lips as he sang.

The four boys stared at each other, fear shining harshly in all their eyes.

"Oh, my god, you can see the person's shadow!" James exclaimed, leaning in, and pointing out the shadow that fell across the bathroom.

Kendall started pacing, head bowed.

"How could I not see this? How is this person doing this? There wasn't anyone in there!" he felt so violated, not understanding how anyone could possibly be this dangerously good at stalking him. He had never felt so much fear in his life.

It was as though the same thought hit all four boys at once, as they were all suddenly peering around the room, looking for someone he could possibly be taking photos. But all the doors were closed, curtains shut. There was no possible way that anybody was able to take any photos.

The laptop beeped.

Logan rushed over to it, discovering a new email. He opened it and saw a picture of all four of them, obviously taken just then.

All four of them squealed, jumping to each other.

"_Anywhere, anytime,"_ Logan read out from beneath the image.

"Oh, God, oh, my god," Kendall was hyperventilating. He crashed to his knees, shaking his head violently. Was there anywhere safe?

Logan knelt before him, resting his hands on Kendall's shoulders.

"Calm down, Kendall, don't let them think they affect you so much," he tried to soothe, knowing it wasn't going to work, but surprised when it did. Kendall rose to his feet shakily, and stared around the room again, looking for something, anything, that could indicate a camera of some description, but he found nothing.

"Whatever, let's talk to Gustavo tomorrow. He will sort this out… Wait, where's Freight Train?"

"Gustavo had to borrow him for a bit, said he'll be back to pick us up tomorrow morning for rehearsals," Carlos said quietly, feeling awfully uncomfortable.

"Where's somewhere we can go, that they won't be able to find us?" Logan asked suddenly, just wanting to get Kendall away from any cameras.

"Ooh, I know!" Carlos exclaimed, smiling brightly. He ran into Kendall and Logan's room, and appeared moments later, motioning them in.

Kendall was shocked to see a full made blanket fort, ready and waiting. Carlos passed out torches and a ball of Cheetos and ushered his friends in before him, before pulling down the flap of an entrance.

The four boys made themselves comfortable on cushions on the floor, grinning at each other. It was so childish, but it made them feel free and safe.

Logan pulled the camera out from his pocket and began inspecting it.

"It's one of those new waterproof cameras, you can upload the image straight to Facebook and everything," he muttered, half to himself, half to his friends. His friends stared at him. Glancing at them, he shrugged, "what? I thought I'd find out what we are working with,"

"Sure, whatever," James growled. Kendall looked at him, frown creasing his brows.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked his tall friend. James stared at him, looking so very guilty.

"This is all my fault," he whispered. Kendall's mouth fell open.

"No! Don't even think that!"

"How could I not, Kendall? If it wasn't for me wanting to be famous, and pushing you all into this, none of this would've happened. You'd be safe!"

Kendall smacked the back of the boys head, glaring at him harshly.

"Don't be an idiot, James. If we didn't really want this then none of us would be here, so, don't start the guilt stuff, because it's pointless, and none of us are going to blame you for it. So, don't even start," his voice was menacing and serious, and James just nodded looking down, the guilty look not disappearing though.

Their eyes flew to Logan when the boy whistled suddenly.

"What? What is it?" James asked loudly, but was hushed by Carlos, who turned to Logan.

Logan, however, didn't say anything, just held something up in his hand.

"Is that a chunk of hair?" James asked and Logan nodded, passing it to him.

"That's… It's Kendall's hair!" the tall brunette exclaimed, staring closely at the lock of blonde hair.

Kendall's hand flew to his head, running through, looking for a missing lock of hair. He felt like face-palming when he realised how ridiculous he was.

"How do you know?" Carlos asked, leaning in to inspect the hair himself.

"Who else is at Palm Woods with hair this particular shade of blonde?" James asked.

The other three boys snickered slightly at how girly James sounded when he said that. James rolled his eyes at them.

"Seriously, guys, this isn't a game,"

Kendall felt his heart drop at those words, remembering the message and phone call.

"We know that, James," he muttered, looking at his hands sadly. James sighed, reaching out and rubbing his friends arm.

"I'm sorry, Kendall, this is just killing us all,"

"I know,"

The four of them sat up for a while, talking, but slowly, each drifting off to sleep at different intervals. Kendall, being the last one awake, turned off all the torches, and pulled out his phone. He didn't remember feeling a vibration, but there was a new text there all the same.

_Seven… Eight, stay up late_

He didn't sleep a wink that night.


	10. Chapter Ten

_**Disclaimer:**__ I am actually Lady Gaga, don't you know._

_I'm going to point out, right here, right now, YES I DO LOVE KEEPING YOU ALL ON YOUR TOES. I never thought it could be so much fun :) but seriously, all your reviews and comments are brilliant. I love how all of you are so amazing and keep me motivated. _

_I'm terribly sorry for the extremely delayed update. I've been so… I don't know, uninspired I guess. I never realised how hard keeping up a story would be, especially as my ideas decrease as the story continues on and goes a different route to how it was planned. So, HUGE apologies, and I hope you can all find it in your hearts to forgive me?_

_I'm so annoyed at my family right now though. So, hopefully this won't turn out too bad. Haha_

_**Begin Chapter Ten**_

It was anger that was coursing through his veins. Pure, unadulterated, anger and exhaustion. Lack of sleep did that to him. But as he stared at his phone, all he wanted to do was smash it to tiny pieces. Quite positive that he had never felt this angry in his life.

His fear had turned to anger, and he felt like bursting from his body. Pale hands were clenched, and green eyes were narrowed, Kendall Knight was looking quite thunderous.

The anger dissipated in an instant when a hand landed on his shoulder. Heart racing, he spun to see who it was, letting out a shallow breath when he saw his little sister.

"Katie," he said in way of greeting. She smiled at him, a look of mild amusement on her face.

"Jo's in the lobby, bitching about you. Something about you not appreciating her, or something," the girl said lightly, with a roll of her eyes.

Kendall groaned. Sometimes he seriously wondered why he even bothered with a girlfriend.

"Eh, she's so much hassle," he let out, grinning at his sister. She grinned in return. She sat down next to him on the couch, and looked at his phone.

"Any more messages?" she asked him, and he showed her the latest one. Her big eyes narrowed dangerously as she read the words.

"You tired?" she asked, he nodded and she sighed. "of course you are," she rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

"So, uh, nice fort you boys have in there," she said, giggling, pointing towards his room. Kendall laughed, agreeing with her.

"It was actually Carlos' idea, genius really," he said happily. The undertones of anger were still there, buried beneath the amusement, but for his beloved little sister, he would try and keep a front on.

"Well, Big Brother, I will be off, going to scam some more Palm Woods residents of their precious money," she said with an evil laugh, leaving the apartment with a little skip, after a quick hug to her brother.

He watched her leave, trying not to feel resentment for the fact that she didn't have this constant worry or fear on her shoulders. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he regretted it instantly, because he would never want this type of thing on his little sister. After all, anybody that every tried to hurt Katie would be in a serious amount of pain, coursed by both Kendall, and Katie herself.

The door slammed with a resounding bang.

Once again he was left in the apartment by himself. Left, just he and his torturous thoughts, and the ungodly phone which vibrated.

_I love you._

He wanted to vomit as he read those words. He wanted to gouge his eyes out and wipe his memory clean from those words. Words he had never thought he would ever hate hearing. How could anyone hate those three words? More to the point, how could anyone use those words so shallowly and vainly.

His heart clenched painfully in his chest, and he felt light headed as he re-read those words. Swallowing back the lump that had formed in his throat, he leapt to his feet and ran out of the apartment.

The lift doors dinged open, and Freight Train exited, coming to a halt before Kendall.

"Woah, easy there Tiger," the big man said, grabbing a hold of the boys shoulders. "Where's the fire?"

Kendall was breathing heavily, as he let Freight Train support him.

"No fire," he muttered, "I was in there by myself, I couldn't handle it,"

Freight Train stared right at him, indicated for him to continue, vent, to let it all out.

"I don't know, anymore. I mean, I'm meant to be the leader, the brave one, and I'm falling apart because some psycho is in love with me. I constantly feel violated and scared, like nothing is ever going to be ok again. I don't understand how anyone can deal with this," he paused, looking at the phone still clasped in his cold fingers.

"I want to smash this into little tiny pieces, and never look at another phone again. I'm constantly thinking that this will solve all my problems. But, I know it won't. It didn't start via phone. It started from letters. I just… I wish…"

"I would like to tell you I understand, and that I know how this is all going to turn out, that I know it's all going to turn out good, but, I can't. I can't lie to you like that, Kendall, not about something this important. But I will say this. You _are_ a strong boy. You are the leader of Big Time Rush, but that doesn't mean you can't have your weak moments, or you can't be scared. In fact, I think the other guys wouldn't look up to you as much if you weren't scared and honest and all those things," Freight Train said softly, looking down at the boy, who nodded, sagging with his heavy burden.

"Thanks, Freight Train" the boy said, as the big man turned them around and led them back to the apartment, one hand still resting on Kendall's shoulder.

They stopped dead upon entering and seeing read letters covering the walls.

"**I LOVE YOU KENDALL KNIGHT AND IF I CANT HAVE YOU THAN NO ONE CAN!**"

Kendall's knees buckled, and it was only courtesy of Freight Train that he didn't hit the ground. Mind reeling and emptying his stomach on the floor, he felt utter despair for the first time in his young life.


	11. Chapter Eleven

_**Disclaimer:**__ I am an awful awful person for not updating in so long, especially after how frequently I was. I just ran out of steam I guess. :( makes me feel really terrible too. _

_I've had a lot on my mind lately too. Not to mention yesterday my three year old nephew spent half the day vomiting all over me, and my laptop. But I don't care. I love him too much to worry about something like that. I love that kid to pieces. We took him to the hospital, but they made us wait over two hours, despite the fact that no one else was there, so we left. Hmmph. And they say Australian hospitals are decent._

_For the first time in almost a decade I will be having my own room! When I lived with my parents I shared my room with my little sister. Then I moved here, and still, sharing a room. With my little sister, her baby and her new boyfriend (who I want to stab btw lol). But they are moving out on Saturday, thank god for small mercies. No issues with the baby, he's my beloved nephew number two. But… _

_Well, Thank you to all my lovely reviewers. You never cease to amaze me and keep me happy. I love you all!_

_**So it begins. Chapter eleven.**_

"THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR. WAY TOO FAR!" Mrs Knight bellowed when she walked into her home and saw the words written on the wall. "How dare they, seriously, how dare they enter my home and treat my son like this. I want this sorted out now!" her voice turned into a deadly whisper, as she wrapped her arms around her shaking son.

Freight Train stood to the side of the couch, watching the rage that was Mrs Knight, and the mess that was Kendall.

The boy buried his face in her neck, shaking so violently that Mrs Knight thought he might snap into pieces. She pulled back and looked into her son's eyes, shocked out how much he had changed in only a few days. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, stark in contrast with his shockingly pale skin. She had never seen her son look so drawn or exhausted.

"Freight Train, I want the cops to be sorting this out. There is no way my son should have to deal with this. Call the cops," she said without looking from her sons tired face.

"Where are the other boys?" she asked suddenly, looking around.

"At the pool," Kendall whispered, his voice croaking. Snapping her fingers, Mrs Knight indicated for Freight Train to go and get them, the man did, phone up to his ear as he called the police.

Moments after the other boys arrived, the police were knocking on the door.

"I'm Officer Kanes and this is my partner, Officer Mchennery," the young officer introduced as he was allowed entrance. Mrs Knight introduced herself, the boys and Freight Train. The two officers stared up at the tall man with raised eyebrow, before turning back to the raging mother.

"Your son has a stalker? And he's part of a band?" Officer Mchennery asked mockingly.

Mrs Knight drew herself up to her full height, outraged.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "He has been receiving text messages and odd objects. He has also received a camera full of photos of him that were nigh on impossible to take. We have them all still, not to mention that!" she said, pointing at the wall covered in writing.

Mchennery seemed to deflate a little, realising the seriousness of the situation.

"My apologies, Ma'am," he said softly.

The two men started investigating the wall and writing straight up, collecting samples, along with the camera, photos, and letters. They spoke to Kendall and asked what type of messages he had been receiving.

"Just random messages, asking me questions, threatening me, telling me things, riddles, etc," he replied quietly.

His three best friends were surrounding him protectively.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He visibly tensed, pulling it out and opening the message.

_Why are there cops in your room?_ –Jo

He sighed in relief, but didn't bother replying.

But while the phone was still in his hand, it vibrated again.

_You've been a bad boy, Mr Knight_

It was only after the matter, that he realised he had just smashed his phone against the wall, watching it break apart with a small sense of satisfaction.

"We are sorry for your circumstances, Mrs Knight. Uh, we are just going to take this stuff down to forensics. We will let you know what we find," Kanes said, as he and Mchennery headed for the door.

The door closed behind the two officers, James, Carlos and Logan turned to their friend.

"You have to calm down Kendall, stressing isn't going to help," Logan said quietly.

"Yeah, Logan, cos calming down is that easy. _You_ have someone take photos of you in the shower. I don't even feel safe to pee," Kendall snapped, heading towards his bedroom.

The fort that had been fully made when they left it that morning was now utterly destroyed. In fact, the entire room was a complete mess, blankets strewn here and there, books and CD's and DVD's and clothes everywhere. He didn't even have the energy to call out to his friends and tell them, or to even care. He just walked to his bed and collapsed on it face down, praying for the entire ordeal to end.

He lay like that for hours, not sleeping, just lying there, thinking, or rather, trying _not_ to think. He was failing miserably at it.

Dinner was a silent affair. Kendall played around with his food, not even attempting to stomach it, the others just watched him sadly, as they ate their own. He didn't look up once.

It was during the silence of the meal that the home phone rang. Mrs Knight answered it.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Kendall? Ok," she said, looking carefully at Kendall, who was now looking at her, she shrugged, handing the phone to him.

"Hello?" the boy asked.

"_It's blood on the walls."_

"Who are you?" Kendall asked, voice alarmed.

"_You know me, you know me_," the voice sing-songed.

"WHO ARE YOU!" he yelled down the phone

"_Nine, Ten, never sleep again. Kiss kiss,"_ the line went dead.

Kendall was out the door before the others could even ask what happened. James jumped up to follow him, but Kendall was too fast. He left Palm Woods and kept running. Hoping he could escape from whomever it was that seemed to know where he was at all times.

His lungs were burning, eyes stinging and heart pumping madly, when he finally stopped. Looking around, he realised he had no clue where he was. That suited him just fine, as long as whoever this person was that was stalking him didn't know where he was.

People were walking passed him, some eyed him suspiciously, and others just ignored him. A girl of maybe thirteen stared at him openly, before approaching him. She smiled sweetly, excitedly even, white teeth glinting in the fading sunlight.

"Oh my god! Are you Kendall Knight? From Big Time Rush?" she asked in a rush.

Kendall nodded distractedly, nervously.

"Oh wow, Oh God!" she was so excited. She threw her arms around him.

"I love you! You're amazing," she giggled.

"Thank you," he responded, smiling slightly at her, amazed at how excited she was.

"Is it true, what they are saying?" she suddenly asked. Kendall stared at her.

"What are they saying?" he asked her.

"That you have a stalker?" he nodded his head sadly. The girl gave him another hug.

"I'm sorry, that's gotta be brutal," her voice was tinged with sympathy for him. "I hope everything works out right for you, Kendall Knight, and that this stalker person goes away for a long time. You don't deserve anything like this," she said to him, patted his cheek and walked on.

Kendall stared after her.


	12. Chapter Twelve

_**Disclaimer**__: There's not a lot I don't own, after all. -_-_

_I've been talking to this boy I used to talk to. He's incredible. We used to have something, but we let it go, because we live so far apart, but every time I see him or speak to him I get so happy and sad at the same time. Happy because he still means so much to me after all these years, and sad because we never got to be the couple we always said we would. Maybe one day though. _

_Thank you to all my beautiful reviewers. May all your dreams come true :] _

_This chapter doesn't actually have Kendall in it, so don't kill me._

_**Begin Chapter Twelve.**_

Little Katie Knight sat on her bed in her room, staring at her reflection in the floor length mirror on her wardrobe. Her dark eyes were narrowed in thought and her fingers were twisting in her hair.

She was thinking of her big brother and how much she wanted to slaughter the person that was harassing him. She didn't understand how anybody could possibly do this stuff to someone so sweet and caring. Her strong big brother was being torn to pieces. She would not stand by and idly watch it him be destroyed by an almost invisible enemy.

An Idea came to her.

Leaping off her bed, she ran out of the room, out the apartment and down the corridor. She was breathless by the time she reached Bitters office. She didn't bother knocking on the door, just barged in, and wasn't surprised to see him with a night cap on his head, feet in rabbit slippers, long johns and an old oversized shirt. She stifled a giggle.

"Who…What do you want Miss Knight?" the man asked, still trying to decide if he considered her his friend or not.

"There's a situation," Katie said, straight to business.

"Is this about that stalker business going on with your brother? Because the cops spoke to me about it on their way out. I have no idea what's even happening," Bitters let out nervously.

"I didn't even think you knew about it," Katie back tracked slightly. "Either way, Mister Bitters, I need your help,"

"Depends," the man said. Katie grinned at him.

"Oh, you _will_ help me," she said, her voice dangerous, her grin evil.

"Fine," the man said with a heavy sigh, knowing full well she would've gotten him to agree somehow anyway.

"What do you need my help with?" he asked her.

The little girl stepped closer to him and lowered her voice.

"We are going to catch this _bastard,"_ she told him. Bitters stepped back at her language and regarded her in a new light.

"You really care about your brother, don't you?" he asked her seriously.

"Absolutely. He has spent his entire life looking out for me. I'm not going to let someone cause him any type of harm. He's too special. I don't care if you don't like him or not, but you have to admit, there is something amazing about him,"

Bitters reluctantly nodded his head.

"I want your permission to go into the vents and see what I can find. I also want a copy of the security footage for the last week,"

"The cops have the security footage," he said apologetically. Katie sighed, nodding her head, but continued anyway.

"You need to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious or with cameras or that seem to be following my brother around," she told the fat man. Bitters stared at her, considering her words.

"You know, there was someone strange walking through the lobby today. Was kinda tall, wearing a hat and a large brown overcoat, with huge glasses and an expensive looking camera around his neck," he told her, tapping his chin in thought.

Katie stared at him, and then laughed.

"Dude, that was Jett,"

"Why was he dressed like that?"

"He's practicing for a TV ad, a Sherlock Holmesesque ad," she giggled.

"How do you know he's not your brother's stalker? He could've just told you this so you wouldn't think he was up to anything suspicious," Bitters said conspiratorially.

"I know this, because I'm the one that set him up for the ad. I'm his manager," she grinned at this. "He's going to take me on a date when I turn sixteen," she giggled at this, and then turned serious again. "That's not even the point. But thanks Bitters; at least you noticed something appearing sus,"

"Your brother and his friends always appear suspicious to me," he sighed, heaving his bulk out of his chair. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about Katie?" he asked her.

"No, thanks dude, if there's anything else I need or want, I'll come and talk to you about it," she told him, turning and leaving his office. Before she had reached the lifts though he called out to her again.

"I have seen someone walking around sneakily though. I didn't pay attention to them though, didn't think to, but, I just always see the tail end of them, like, going around corners, doors closing behind them, that kind of thing. I'll try and pay more attention next time," he told the girl, she nodded her thanks and entered the lift.

As she waited for her level, her phone vibrated.

_Little Katie Knight. Playing hero? You'll never win. Your brother is mine. __**MINE**_

It was anonymous, and she almost felt her own heart shatter. This was not what she wanted. Her small hands shook as she put her phone back in her pocket.

Upon entering the apartment, she saw her mother sitting in front of the TV with the three boys she considered brothers. James, Carlos and Logan all looked at the door straight away, but seemed to deflate when they saw it wasn't Kendall.

"He still isn't back?" she asked, her heart sinking a little bit more.

She got four unanimous head shakes. She sighed and joined them on the couch. Refusing to think about the message she had just received. She wouldn't tell any of them, she didn't want them to know what she was planning.

She pulled out her phone again and opened a new text.

_-Your detective abilities are about to be tested, Jett. We have a mystery to solve_

Within moments her phone vibrated with his response.

_We finding the stalker? Whenever you're ready Little K_

She smiled. Sometimes, it was the strangest people she could rely on.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

_**Disclaimer:**__Don't shoot me. I've been in hospital. So, I'm sick and shizzzzz. Haha. _

_Thank you to everyone reviewing, you are all ever so loyal and patient with me. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you all :)_

_I bought myself an IPhone 4. It's pretty decent. So I gave my ITouch to my big sister. She's happy. It was my only eighteenth birthday present, my nan and uncle bought it for me. No one else in my family gave me anything haha. Anyways. _

_**Chapter Thirteen. **__Hmm, maybe I should've updated on Friday lol:P_

Kendall Knight was wandering, lost. This was an unusual occurrence for him, as he rarely ventured somewhere he didn't know, by himself, without one of his mates. His mates gave him strength and confidence, without them, he felt he had no reason for being.

Green eyes peered around himself, seeing nothing familiar or that he could recognise. He sighed heavily, refusing to think about why he was in this situation, except for the brief flitter of '_If I don't know where I am, how would they?' _

The streets were pretty much empty, and very few cars drove passed. He felt even more vulnerable now, than he did in his own home, so out in the open as he was. He shook his head and began walking. His mum, sister and friends were probably wondering where he was. He should probably head back. If only he knew which way was back.

Pivoting on the spot, he saw a few cars on a distant street, and headed that way, hoping for a map or a directory, not that he could read maps properly. They confused him, after all. The street he ended up on was a lot busier, people were still dithering about, some drunk, stoned or just stupid, others looked like they just wanted to get home undisturbed and go to bed. No one looked approachable.

Except one face.

And he wouldn't consider that face approachable. Familiar, yes, approachable, no. He let another sigh escape, and reluctantly made his way over.

"Jett," his voice was cold and filled with question. The boy in question turned and grinned at him, that ridiculously handsome grin that made Kendall want to smack him.

"Kendork!" the dark haired boy exclaimed. "What are you doing out here, at this time of the night?"

"I could ask you the same question…" Kendall returned.

"Well, to be honest," Jett began, "I'm looking for a role for a movie," At Kendall's eye roll, he spoke again. "Actually, Your sister sent me to find you. You are horrible hard to find,"

"Katie sent _you_ to find me? How did she get your face out of the mirror long enough to do that?"

"Uh, I'm not James, dude, I don't constantly need to be staring at myself to know how good looking I am,"

Kendall wasn't sure if he was joking or not. He was inclined to believe he wasn't. Rather than be cruel, though, he figured he would use the fact that the actor was there, and find his way home via him. At least he wouldn't have to struggle with a map he couldn't read. He grimaced at the thought of them. He had never understood how they worked.

"Do you know the way back to Palm Woods?" he asked instead, as politely as he could muster. He felt unease surge through his stomach as Jett stared at him, mouth open, his eyes wide.

"What?" he asked the actor.

"You don't know the way back to Palm Woods?" Jett asked, seriously. Kendall shook his head, confused.

"Oh, hell no. I thought you were supposed to have brains,"

Kendall narrowed his eyes.

"Excuse me, I am not…"

Jett cut him off.

"Great, so now we are lost. All because you run out and don't come back and I'm forced to find you. How did I even get talked into this?"

Kendall felt like smacking both himself and Jett in the head. Neither of them knew their way around. He suddenly no longer felt embarrassed about his situation. He laughed quietly, but Jett still stared at him like he had lost his marbles.

"Why are you laughing?"

Kendall didn't even bother responding, just shook his head, chortling.

"You are insane!" Jett exclaimed, face palming.

"Which direction did you come from?" Kendall suddenly asked, inspiration hitting. Jett pointed the way, and Kendall grinned.

"Come on, let's see if we can get back or get more lost," Kendall suddenly felt free as he ran, Jett running behind him, keeping up.

They stopped when they were out of breath, but were still lost, though there was a McDonalds directly across the street from them. Without even looking at the other, they both crossed and entered the sliding doors to what they both considered heaven.

Having ordered and paid, the two were sitting at a booth, munching on their burgers, debating who was going to ask the employee where they were. The debate turned into a full swing argument, that the employee seemed to hear, because he called out where they were. Both Kendall and Jett turned to the boy.

"No one asked you!" they both exclaimed, glaring, before turning back to each other, muttering about idiot McDonalds people.

"Apparently Mr Bitters thought I was your stalker," Jett said randomly, starting an actual conversation between the two. Kendall snorted.

"Why would you stalk me, you harass me enough when we actually see each other, you're too busy blow-drying your hair… even when it's dry,"

"I know right! It's just because he saw me walking around, dressed as Sherlock Holmes. That was courtesy of Katie. Good sister you got there, she's a sweet kid. Great friend too,"

Kendall laughed.

"She's brilliant. A little mastermind, really,"

Jett nodded his agreement, unable to deny the girls extreme sense of humour and talent.

Just as the two were about to stand and leave the fast food joint, Kendall's phone vibrated. He reluctantly pulled it out of his pocket.

One New MMS

He opened the picture and dropped the phone onto the table, turning and staring out the window, looking for someone or something.

Jett, confused, picked up the phone and felt his own blood drain. He too, peered out the window, into darkness, barely seeing anything passed their reflections.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

_**Disclaimer: **__Yea we know the drill._

_I have to say, out of every single review I have gotten (and that is a lot more than I thought possible) I have not gotten a bad or mean one. So, you guys are the best ever. I love you all, and it makes me feel really special, seriously. So thank you all. xD_

_As much as I hate to say it, I want a boyfriend haha. Anyways._

_So I had this totally different outcome to this story that I thought would be brilliant, but then I realised, I don't want everybody to hate me, and I couldn't do it. I mean it's a really twisted ending. I have also decided I am not willing to end my masterpiece just yet haha._

_I am sorry if this is a fail chapter. I am full on intoxicated, and I even put a few haha's in the story, before I deleted them, realising it wasn't appropriate haha._

_**Chapter Fourteen and onnnn **_

If there is one thing anyone should learn from life, is, not to take anything for granted. One day it could all be gone. One day, everything can just slip through your fingers and you will have so many regrets that you think your heart might possibly fall out of your chest. You will regret not getting to know that one person that you should've known all along.

Jett Stetson stared down the barrel of a gun. His stomach churned and he couldn't decide if he wanted to vomit or cry more. It was this moment, that he truly realised he didn't have any friends, and he felt like his entire life was a failure.

Blue eyes looked up the barrel of the gun held directly to his face, and straight into the eyes of an evil psychopath. His pale hands were handcuffed behind himself, and he had no idea how he would escape from them.

He let out a low growl of frustration and confusion, a dull thumping in his head, and, he was sure, a dark bruise forming on his forehead. This bastard was going to pay for marring his perfect skin.

"_You can't have him," _the voice was muffled, face covered by a balaclava.

"Why would I want him? Why should you have him?" he realised instantly who the person was talking about, remembering his circumstances before he was captured. McDonalds with Kendall. He remembered what Katie had sent him to do. Find, protect and discover. Well, that was what he thought anyway.

"_He's mine. Not yours. You don't deserve him. You disrespect him. You treat him like dirt. You are a loser,"_

Jett stiffened at the insult, and then thought about what was truly said. He would play the game, to get Kendall and himself safe, wherever Kendall was.

"He's mine; I deserve him a lot more than you do. I don't stalk him; I don't harass him like you do. I protect him, I make him stronger. If anyone deserves him, it's me. Where is he?"

The eyes narrowed. The gun shook.

Jett could feel the bile rising in his throat. He was sure it was about to projectile all over his assailant. Hopefully that would make him lower the weapon.

"_Somewhere you will never find," _

He felt himself shiver at those words. Felt the fear Kendall must've been feeling for over a week, course through his veins. The boy was a lot stronger than he had ever given him credit for.

"He doesn't deserve this, he really doesn't. He's amazing and you are destroying him!" Jett realised he was actually hysterical, and this wasn't a game, he was no longer just trying to escape, he was trying to save Kendall's life as well as his own.

"_I would never destroy him. KENDALL LOVES ME!" _

He flinched back away from the scream, the gun wavering away from his face, the finger still dangerously close to the trigger.

"Are you going to kill me?" Jett suddenly asked, blinking up at the eyes. He had never felt fear in his life before this.

"_Why? You will never find Kendall," _the voice was shaky, and didn't seem as in control as before.

"Maybe so, but I would like to get back to my apartment and sleep. It's getting late after all and I need my beauty sleep,"

He really wanted to know where Kendall was, wanted to know how he was going to get the two of them out of this predicament. He also wanted to know how he was really dragged into this. How he was tied up, in a dark, dank little room, with no escape and a gun pressed to his face. He felt fear at even breathing.

Kendall was obviously a lot stronger than he appeared, to be able to suffer through this psychopath's cruelty. He would've shaken his head, if it weren't for that blasted weapon.

His heart was in his mouth as the weapon was drawn back, the stalker then brought the gun down on Jett's head, and the last thing he remembered was maliciousness and a gunshot.

"Oh, God! He's lost so much blood," he recognised the voice. For some strange reason he recognised the voice, and knew something was drastically wrong. He struggled to open his eyes. He fluttered his lids, and light hit him blindingly. Flinching back, he let out a groan.

"Who….?" He managed to utter.

"Logan," the voice responded.

"What? Where am I?" he managed to propel himself into a seated position.

"By the pools at Palm Woods," Logan said. "What happened Jett? You have a bullet? The ambulance is on it's way,"

"Ohh," he moaned, before remembrance dawned.

"The stalker has Kendall!" he exclaimed, before falling backwards, the pain getting too much.

"Is it fatal?" he asked Logan. The other boy laughed, a slightly bitter laugh.

"No, thank God. It's just superficial. Did the stalker do this?" he asked.

"Mmm," Jett groaned.

Logan let out a half laugh, half sob.

"So, the stalker has Kendall?"

"I don't know. He wasn't in the same room as me, but the stalker was saying that we would never have Kendall back, that we would never find him,"

He could hear the sirens wailing in the distance, getting closer. Knew he would be alright, but fearing for Kendall, despite, not knowing him as well as he should.

He had missed out on an incredible friendship.

Dark room, no wall. Hands tied behind him. No escape. He let out a weak groan.

A door opened, and a blade flashed in the pale light let in.

He tried to scuttle backwards.

His back was already pressed against the wall.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

_**Disclaimer: **__ I am the writer of this story. But, Nickelodeon owns BTR dammit! Haah_

_I apologise, not for the delay in updating, that's kind of a given now, but for any typos that occur. My best friend and I got drunk two days ago, and she spilled her alcohol on my laptop haha, just one corner of it, and now some of my keys are sticky and wont press properly, but I am trying to train it out of them. Haha. :)_

_I would like to thank you guys for reviewing, cos if it wasn't for you lot, I probably wouldn't be continuing this at all haha. Would've died in the bottom after the first chapter. Haha_

_Now, remember kiddies, expect the…_

_**Fifteenth chapter**_

"Don't touch me," his voice cracked, as he pressed himself further into the damp wall.

The gloved hand retracted.

"_Now, there's no need to be like that,"_

Kendall cocked his head to the side, blinking. The voice was familiar. It tinged at the edges of his memory, and he knew he should recall it from somewhere. But he couldn't quite place it.

He flinched as the hand landed on his shoulder and he tried to pull away. The grip was too firm.

"Get your hands off me!" he tried to sound commanding and in control. But he couldn't quite get the tone; the fear boiling in his stomach was too strong. The figure before him laughed coldly.

"_Why you fight this, Kenny, I will never know. You know you love me. I can hear your heart beating for me, I can feel your love for me," _

Kendall stared into the darkness at the figure. He really couldn't understand why _he_ was saying it all. Kendall knew for a fact that everything _he_ was saying was warped.

"Are you touched in the head? Were you dropped as a baby? What is with you? You're crazy!"

A gloved hand trailed down his cheek, over his lips and stopped. Kendall tried to pull his head away. But the other hand had grabbed a chunk of his hair, holding his head still.

"_You've been fighting since the start, but everyone _knows_." _

Kendall shook his head, resisting rolling his eyes. His defiant side was really beginning to come out. He didn't try to stop it, figuring this was his only course of action, what with his hands tied behind his back, and the figure crouched down right in front of him.

A balaclava covered _his_ face, but Kendall could still feel his breath on his face, smell the putrid breath and the salty smell of sweat. He gagged a little, trying to draw his head back, but the hand to his hair kept him still.

"I will NEVER love you. You have taunted me, harassed me, stalked me, KIDNAPPED me! How could I ever love someone as screwed in the head as you? It's not even possible. You… I hate you!" Kendall snarled suddenly. His eyes were blazing and he was breathing heavily as he spat the words out.

The figure reared back as if slapped, then suddenly lurched forward, hand gripping onto Kendall's neck, gripping tightly. Kendall choked, his eyes bulging as his airways were cut off and he couldn't get oxygen in.

"_You don't mean that! You love me just as much as I love you. You are mine!"_

Kendall tried to shake his head, his mind becoming fuzzy as he struggled to breathe.

"Never," he choked out, his eyes pleading to be released.

"_You are,"_

He could see darkness on the edge of his vision, could feel unconsciousness pulling on him. The pain in his neck, in his head, everywhere, was fading.

"Y…you're hurting m…m…" he tried to say, hoping to be released, fearing not being released.

The hand let go as if burned. The oxygen exploded back into his lungs and he felt the fire burning his throat, his neck tender, and his head pounded. He drew another deep breath.

"_No, Kenny, you're hurting yourself. You are in complete denial. You've loved me since you first met me, you have," _

"No… no…. no…" Kendall shook his head, not looking at the figure. He didn't even know who _he _was. He didn't love him. He couldn't love someone he didn't know, he just didn't.

"_I would never hurt you. I am protecting you," he _laughed, an insane laugh that sent chills down Kendall's spine.

"_You might as well admit it,"_

Kendall shook his head. His eyes were defiant, though his eyes were muddled. He felt a bruising slap across his face. His eyes began watering at the impact and he yelped as his head snapped to the side. He felt pain lance through his neck and figured he had just received whiplash as well.

"_Defiance will not help you. You are stuck here with me, you are mine now. There is no escape. No one will ever find you," _

Kendall let out a bitter sob. He knew _he_ was right. There was no escape. He felt his hope rushing from him, felt the defiance flee his soul. His shoulders slumped and he stared up at his captor, eyes dull, and the fight gone.

"Whatever," he said apathetically, leaning back against the wall, letting his eyes roam the dark room.

Kendall's captor stood up straight, staring down at the boy, shock showing in his stance.

"_W…well, uh… did you want a drink?"_

Kendall didn't even look at him.

"No,"

The seething started again.

"_Look at me when you talk to me!"_ was screamed with rage.

Kendall looked directly at him.

"Who are you?"

_He _laughed again, that same maniacal laugh that sent shivers down Kendall's spine. But _he_ didn't respond, just hunkered down again, running his gloved hand through Kendall's blonde hair.

Kendall didn't move, didn't react. His mind was still fuzzy, and he stared straight at the captor.

"I'm tired," he breathed, head lolling to the side, his eyes unfocussed.

"_NO!" _ The hidden face yelled, frustrated. Kendall tried to focus his eyes, but found the exhaustion getting too strong. He felt himself sliding down the wall, as his body relaxed, eyes half lidded.

He felt like a rag doll as he was hoisted back up, he tried to shake the sleepiness away, but found he couldn't.

As his eyes slowly slid out of focus, he saw a gloved hand raise towards a hidden face and pull the balaclava off. With a start he saw a pale face, and his eyes slipped shut.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

_**Disclaimer:**__ Why do I even bother with these? You all know I am the genius behind everything._

_Ok, I apologise for the billionth time about the massive delay. And, well, I have a few excuses for you. _

_My big sister gave birth to a beautiful little girl, two weeks ago. I was there at the birth, and bawled my eyes out. And I've spent a fair amount of time at her new place, which only just got the net like two or so days ago._

_I got completely smash drunk with my best friend on numerous occasions, though, luckily enough I don't get hangovers, which is a bloody blessing. _

_I actually got sick. Like vomit everywhere. But I'm all good now._

_And finally, it was the one year anniversary of my Nana's death, the day after my niece was born. And yeah. So enough excuses._

_Thank you to everyone for sticking with this story. I am sorry to disappoint, but this is a short chapter. The next one will be much longer, and hopefully up within the next few days. So_

_**Chapter SIXTEEN **__Damn, I thought I was only up to twelve, not this far already, oh how time/chapters fly._

It was with baited breath that they waited any news from the police. And no news did they get. It turned out the cops couldn't figure out who the stalker was, or who had kidnapped Kendall. Katie should've known. Never trust a cop to do a sisters job. She shook her head with frustration as the police left their deadly quiet apartment.

Mrs Knight was crying, Logan was comforting her. Kendall had been missing for forty eight hours. And not a single message from the stalker had been received. Except for Jett's return. Which had come as a surprise. Katie felt bad for sending him after Kendall, and even worse because he had been shot.

She felt gigantic tears well up in her eyes and James quickly wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his embrace with a deep, bone wary sigh, and felt him relax as well. She felt safe in James' arms and wished Kendall could have the same safe feeling as her.

She tried to be strong, she really did.

"It's going to be ok, Katie," James whispered into her hair. "We are going to get Kendall back, don't doubt it. We've pulled off bigger fetes then this," he sounded so sure of himself, so strong, that Katie really wished she could believe him. A part of her did believe him, because they truly had pulled off bigger things. They'd saved Christmas for Christ's sakes, they could pull off a measly 'find Kendall and return him in one piece'. They could.

It was Carlos that was the real genius though. In the utter silence that was the Big Time Rush family, he whipped out his phone and did the most obvious thing in the world. He called Kendall's phone.

And Kendall answered.

"Kendall! Where are you, dude?" Carlos was so excited. He didn't understand why none of the others had tried this.

"I'm… I don't know. In a room," his voice was tired and stressed. But it was Kendall, and that was all that mattered to all of them.

"Have you seen the stalkers face?" Carlos asked quickly. Kendall made a noise of the affirmative.

"Who is it?" Katie squealed from the background, Carlos had, in his genius, put the phone on speaker, and Logan was tracing the call.

"No.." Kendall moaned, terror filling his voice.

"No?" Katie cried out, fear making her angry, James held onto her.

"I don't care… just get me out of here," Kendall's voice was so small and terrified that they all felt their hearts break for him. He was the strong one of them all, the one that was never afraid. The past week had been absolutely horrifying for all of them, especially with the changes to Kendall.

And Logan whooped as he had a location on Kendall's whereabouts.

"You guys remember that old warehouse we were trapped in by Hawk and Rebecca before our first concert? That's where he is!" Logan had never sounded so excited in his life.

Without waiting another second, Carlos hung the phone up, and he, James, Logan and Katie ran from the apartment, not even saying anything to a distraught mother.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

_**Disclaimer:**__ Uhmm._

_Okay, so, this is a fairly fast update, because I sat down and wrote most of this chapter by hand, not even realising it was a chapter for this story until I was half way done with it. Either way, it will possibly be my favourite chapter. You will learn a few important things in this chapter. So read carefully. Or at your discretion, whatever you prefer. Also, I'm not sure about something in this chapter, if it even exists or is possible, but for the benefit of this beloved story of mine, we shall pretend it's quite readily available. Haha._

_Once again, I want to thank all my beautiful reviewers. Some of you have been reviewing each and every chapter right from the first one. And it means so much to me that I have such loyal reviewers/readers. Whether you review or not, I thank you all for reading this. _

_**Enjoy chapter seventeen. **__Is it the last chapter? Or am I just messing with you? Haha_

Silence rang through the small, enclosed room. Eyes held tightly shut, Kendall waited for the worst to occur.

Nothing happened.

Opening his eyes slowly, he was greeted by a dull yellow glow in the form of a light bulb, in the centre of the room. And a figure blotting out half the light as he made his way closer to his prisoner.

"_You're friends are on their way,"_

It was said with such glee. A smug smile gracing the blurry face of his capturer. Kendall groaned. This wasn't meant to happen.

"Where's Jett?" he asked, finally remembering who he was with when things finally headed well and truly south.

"_He's… been disposed of…"_ a miserable attempt at an evil laugh escaped the pale lips.

A blonde head met a stone wall with a thud, eyes closed, he thought he'd heard a gunshot earlier.

"_Don't do that!"_

Kendall opened his eyes again, glaring up at his assailant.

"Do what? This?" he repeated his head banging, and as dark eyes widened, Kendall felt a slow grin cross his own face.

"Why?"

He felt himself get slightly dizzy at the repeated thump, but, he could happily look past it if it irritated the other.

"_You don't want to hurt yourself now do you? Wouldn't want you all bruised up when your friends get here,"_

Kendall glowered.

"Bit late for that," he muttered his bruised and bleeding wrists from the ropes binding them, his bruised neck and red tinged cheek from a sharp slap, he didn't understand how _he _didn't see what _he_ had done as harm.

"_You going to cry, Kenny?"_

No, he thought, I'm going to strangle you. He didn't dare voice these thoughts, however, as he realised _he_ had a gun in his hands.

_He_ cocked his head to the side, listening intently to something Kendall couldn't hear.

"_They are here,"_ another insane laugh escaped _his _ lips.

Kendall wanted to sink into a hole in the ground. What was going to happen to his friends when they really arrived? Would _he_ shoot them?

Suddenly, _he_ pulled him roughly to his feet, and dragged him out of the small room. Kendall tripped over his own feet repeatedly, his head spinning from the abrupt movements. He groaned as he lurched along, feeling much like a puppet.

They stopped in a much larger room. A familiar room, though he couldn't place it. Not that he really cared.

As the door on the far side of the room banged open, he felt the cold metal of the gun pressed to his forehead and pure fear raced through his soul. There was no escape. He felt like he was about to be executed.

"_Welcome, friends,"_ _his_ voice was sinister and mockingly quiet, as _he_ peered over at the new arrivals. James, Carlos, Katie and Logan, all stood just inside the room, mouths ajar at the true sincereness of the situation.

"Let him go!" Logan yelled out, finding his voice first. _He _laughed.

"_Stay there or I will kill him right this very second!"_ there was no hesitation in _his_ voice.

"Why would you kill him? You love him, remember?" Katie said, struggling to sound calm.

"_Oh, I do, more than you will ever know!" _there was a slight pause before _he_ continued. "_However, IF I CAN'T HAVE HIM, THEN NO ONE CAN!" he_ bellowed.

The gun shook at his forehead. Kendall couldn't help the tremors of fear. He stared at the ground, refusing to look at his friends or his captor. He heard one of them take a step forward.

"_Stop!"_ _he_ yelled, the gun not moving from its position again.

And Katie's scream ripped through the air, heartbroken and so young, tears streaming down her small cheeks.

"Kill him and I swear to God I will make you live. I'll make you live so you can never be with Kendall!"

The bitter words that were yelled shot straight to the heart of it all.

The gun was lowered, but Kendall did not release the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. He was far from being out of danger.

"Why?" he whispered, staring at the pale face before him.

"_Because," he_ said, "_you stole my spot in history. I wanted to get back at you all, and what better way than through the Perfect Kendall Knight? So, I watched you all, and I learned as I waited. I learned as much as I possibly could. And I learned how impossibly incredible you are. I watched you're every single move. I know you, Kendall, better than you will ever know yourself. You are my life, Kendall Knight. You are mine forever!"_

Kendall shook his head, trying to pull away, but the grip _he _had on him tightened.

"_Whether I am alive or dead, you are mine!" _ the whisper was so cold, so deadly, it sent shivers down all their spines.

"Never!"

_He_ wasn't listening; _he_ was staring at the others.

"_How did you find us?"_ A deadly grin was on _his_ face. _He _already knew the answer.

"You left his mobile on him," Carlos happily informed, before returning to his deadly glaring.

_His _grin, if possible, widened.

"_Yes, I was counting on that. I knew it would not be long until you tried that, and then until you arrived. You lot are incessantly nosey and incredibly observant," _

_He _winked at them, bringing the gun back up to Kendall's head.

I'm going to die, resounded in Kendall's head, over and over again. It swam through, moulding with his fear.

"Why did you want us here?" James asked, genuinely curious as to the answer for that particular question, despite the circumstances.

The crazed maniacal gleam became more pronounced. With his one free hand he unzipped his black jacket, revealing wires and gadgetry none of them understood. It gleamed in the dull light.

A unanimous intake of breath was released.

"I did not see that one coming," Katie murmured.

"_BOOM Motherf***ers"_

_He _winked.

Kendall felt his stomach sink, felt bile rise up his dry throat. All he could think was how it was his fault, he had dragged them into this mess.

Katie spoke.

"It's fake. There's no timer, no external switch," she stepped forward.

"_Uh uh, little girl. I had this one designed special. This won't explode, unless one of two things occurs. The first being my heart stops beating. The second, if somebody tries to remove it from my body. Ahh, the magic of micro sensors,"_

Kendall found himself sinking to his knees.

"Logan!" James exclaimed, "Please get your genius mind to fix this!"

Logan froze up, watching the scene before him.

"I'm, uh, I'm stumped," he sounded and looked so downtrodden and devastated. "Kendall, feel free to use your tactical skills anytime now,"

Kendall's head snapped in their direction. What the hell was he supposed to do? He was tied up after all. His mouth dropped open.

"I'm a hockey player from Minnesota," he paused, turning to stare at _him._ "I don't want you. I'll do what I can,"

In a burst of adrenaline and fear he lashed out. A quick sharp head butt to _his _face, and him stumbling. With terror lacing his body, he repeated the action, and _he_ fell backwards, firing a shot from the almost forgotten gun, as he impacted with the cold concrete ground.

Kendall doubled over, before lashing out with his feet, kicking _him _ as much as he could, before his legs gave out.

Kendall knelt, breathing heavy, looking into the face of Wally Dooley, before tottering backwards, as though he was close to passing out.

Carlos, Katie, James and Logan rushed towards him, steadying him, while Katie undid his bound and bloodied hands, they then quickly dragged him away.

Tripping and stumbling, the five of them made their way from the room, away from the insane young man who had tried to ruin their lives.

They had barely left the room when a massive boom resounded, throwing them like ragdolls, in all directions, as an explosion ripped through the building they had yet to escape.


	18. Authors Note

_**I'm really sorry, but this isn't the next chapter, it's an author's note, explaining why I haven't updated, especially this last week. I just needed a way to get it all off my chest, so I really apologise. And I will have the next chapter up by Wednesday. **_

_**Disclaimer:**__ So, I know it's been a while since I updated, once again haha. I've had a few family members birthdays this month, and some real douchebags have been around. And then, on the 25__th__ of August, my ex-boyfriend, Matthew Roney died. He was twenty years old, and a really nice guy. We broke up last year because of some issues in our relationship, but he's the only boyfriend I've ever had, so it's been quite hard lately. Earlier on this year he found out he had cancer and we were all told he would be fine. He'd been getting treatment in Melbourne, so I never got to see him during his illness really, because I live in Tasmania, a bit far for a nice little car trip to the hospital. I saw him at the start of this month, and he was almost done with his treatments, but he didn't look like the boy I used to date. He looked sick, had no hair, his left eye had gone funny and he was very pale and shaky, but things were supposedly looking up. and then on the seventeenth he messaged me saying the doctors didn't think he would make it, but I didn't know what to say, so I didn't respond. That was the last time I received a message from him, he had gone downhill from then, until the 25__th__, I read a post from his sister, and discovered he had passed away. I felt my heart stop. All I can say is, I am so glad we had sorted all our issues out and that even when I was too weak and scared to help him, he always kept me in mind. Because he knew my history with cancer, and he never pushed his disease onto me, or anything, just tried to keep me in the loop.  
>It's just so surreal that he is gone. I hate cancer and that it takes so many people. Matt was always so strong physically, and he only found out he had cancer so recently, I thought he would survive it, or at least fight it for longer. I mean, it was just testicular cancer. But, obviously, he didn't make it.<br>Matt was my support person through so much last year. He was there for me when my Nan died, and she was like a mother to me, he helped me and my sisters deal with her death by keeping us entertained and busy and looked after. He was even one of the pall bearers for her coffin, and he was so incredible. But now, I have to go to his funeral, and say goodbye for the last time, in a way I never wanted to, especially as he is so young. _

_**RIP Matthew Nicolas Vincent Roney 13**__**th**__** of March 1991 -25 of August 2011**_

_I'm sorry to ramble, and that this isn't an update, but it just took my right out of my element, and everything, and yeah, I know everyone wanted an update, not me telling you all about my ex boyfriend, but I guess I needed to get it off my chest, and yeah. I've lost quite a few people in my family to cancer. And it's a horrible disease. And I'm reckoning most of you on here have lost someone to cancer at some point, so I guess it's my way of dealing with this, and I don't know, I'm just really confused. To everyone who has lost someone, the situation is different for us all, but at the same time it is so much the same. I'm sorry that this suddenly went all stilted and not very coherent, but I'm quite sure you will all understand. And this isn't me looking for sympathy, this is me dealing. Me and Matt broke up long enough ago that I'm not the one that matters in this situation, it's his family. _

_Thank you,_

_FiFi. _


	19. Chapter Eighteen

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own it. xD This chapter is horribly short and probably not what anyone expected, it sure wasn't what I expected. But still, an update is an update right? I've been suffering writers block the last three or four days, and it's killing me! So this was me attempting to overcome it.  
>Last Saturday, I turned 20! I so should've updated then! But haha =]<em>

_I would like to thank everyone for their support recently, (RE my Last update Authors Note).  
>And completely off topic, my sister and I are going to watch Paranormal Activity 2 tonight, so my Nightmare story might get an update pretty soon, so keep an eye out for it. Thank you <em>

_Chapter 18 Finally =]_

Don't breathe too deep, it hurts. Where the hell am I? It's dark, I'm in pain, where is Mum? Oh my God, I hurt! Why can't I see? Why can't I breathe properly? What's going on?

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!

Calm down and just figure things out.

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!

CALM DOWN! Just, Oh, What the hell is going on? I'll just open my eyes.

MY EYES ARE OPEN!

Oh no! I'm blind! Why am I blind? Why is it that all I feel is pain? I'll just move my hands… what the…? I can't move my fingers…? What? I don't understand! Why can't I move even a finger?

Why can't I see?  
>I can't move!<p>

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!

Really, what the hell happened? There's something pressing down on me, holding me down. Is that why I can't move? Come on, just a finger!

Why does it hurt so much to even move a finger? What is wrong with me?

Oh! I'm a paraplegic? Quadriplegic? How's that even possible?

Where are the others? I can't move my mouth, I can't speak! What happened? Where am I? The pain is pounding in my chest, reverberating through my entire body. I can't move away from it, can't escape it.

Oh, just let me pass out, or something, let me get away from it. I can't handle any more.

I can't see, move or breathe, am I even alive? Am I dead?

Is this death? What happened to heaven? I thought I was good? What did I do to end up here?

Oh my God! I'm in Hell! Why? How did I die? I'm too young to be dead.

I manage a groan.

Does that mean I'm not dead?

But… What happened?


	20. Chapter Nineteen

_**Disclaimer:**__ Sorry, sorry and a million sorrys! When will I ever get back to updating more frequently?_

_So, I had my first bad review. But that's ok, except, here's a couple of things, obviously only directed at that person really. If you have such a dislike of my story, please, say so with a critique that will help me benefit my story. Don't just turn around and tell me I shouldn't be writing. && you read the entire story, but because of a short last chapter? Damn you mustn't like a lot of stories! _

_AND thank you to everyone that did review. I always love and appreciate it. Lets see if this chapter is any good.  
>Just want to say, also, I GOT INTO POTTERMORE! I'm a Ravenclaw haha. And my real name actually kind of means Raven haha:P <em>

_**Anyway, Enjoy Chapter NINETEEN!**_

Jennifer Knight liked to think she was a good mum. Distracted, and easily fooled by her kidlets, but a good mum. She loved them unconditionally, and would support them through anything. She was the type of mum that believed a few scrapes and bruises and germs were the way kids should be raised. After all, that's how she was raised, and she turned out ok. Oh, she didn't believe in beating her kids, in fact, she never raised a hand against either, despite the numerous grey hairs they had given her over the years due to their antics.

Jennifer Knight believed she had done a good job. She had packed up and moved herself and both her kids, along with three other kids, to the big city, to make them famous. She took in three unruly, noisy, hormonal teenage boys, because that's what her son wanted. She loved them all.

Jennifer looked out for her kids, all five of them, as much as she possibly could. She wanted them safe and happy, and they were.

But life had a tendency to change at will, with no real rhyme or reason to it.

Sitting in the hospital waiting room, red hair a mess, black tear streaks stained cheeks, shaking hands, she looked a right mess, almost like one of the overly emotional teenagers her son and his three friends sometimes laughed about, the ones with the black hair, black clothes, black eyes. She sniffed, shaking her head slightly, trying to clear it. She was worried after all. Worried and scared, because all her children were in the emergency room right now, all of them were in danger of never making it back out again.

Jennifer Knight wiped at a pale smudged cheek, wishing she looked better than she did right now, because her kidlets would want her to look her best. Though she could hear Kendall in her head right now saying: 'Mum, you look beautiful, you always do!' and James piping up with: 'Yeah, Mama Knight, you're a MILF,' (The first time the pretty boy had said that to her, she had gone straight to google to find out what a MILF was). She smiled, picturing her boys, and frowned as soon as she remembered where they were.

Her baby girl was in there as well! Little Katie should not have gotten involved, she was way too young. Though thinking that, she realised, they all were. This shouldn't have happened to any of the kidlets. They should all be sitting at home right now, asleep in bed, or watching some crappy, late night TV movie.

But NO, here she was sitting on a crappy plastic chair at a crappy hospital, waiting on news of her kidlets because of some crappy turn of fate.

Jennifer Knight rung her hands.

A nurse walked up to her, carrying a Styrofoam cup of coffee, a sad smile on her lips. She handed the coffee over and Jennifer accepted.

"Any news?" she asked the nurse, hopefully.

"No, I'm sorry," the nurse replied with a small shake of her head, a hand resting on the distressed woman's shoulder.

"Well," Jennifer said, "No news is good news," the nurse nodded.

"If you need anything, Ms Knight, Just let me know and I will see what I can do,"

Jennifer nodded, and the nurse walked off, back behind the reception desk.

Jennifer Knight took a small, calming sip from the coffee, and relished in the burning flavour as it slipped down her throat, relaxing as much as she could under the circumstances.

Xxx

Looking back on it, the entire night was a blur for Jennifer Knight. A blur of doctors and nurses coming to tell her different things. Katie, James, Carlos and Logan woke up. She was able to see them, and she did. They were all tired and sore and out of it, but they were alive and they were well, or as well as they could be, given their circumstances. She didn't ask questions, didn't demand an explanation. She knew the basics of what had occurred.

The police were there, they asked the kids questions, they asked Jennifer Knight questions, they gave her some answers.

A boy, spawned by Kendall Knight and the rest of Big Time Rush, had developed an insane hatred for the band, which had turned to a sadistic love of Kendall, which led to torture and all the crazy behaviour that had occurred. The boy kidnapped Kendall, and then blew them all up, killing himself in the process.

Jennifer was horrified at what lengths some people would go to, especially a child.

It was these things that made Jennifer Knight question whether she was doing the right thing by her children, letting them be famous and develop insane fans that would attempt to kill them.

Sitting next to Katie, who was sleeping, Jennifer Knight waited, impatiently, for the news of her son. Kendall had gone into surgery. She was waiting to find out if he would make it through the night. Tears started a fresh, slipping down her pale cheeks, washing away the mascara that was left behind the previous time.

It was as she was sobbing into her hands, trying not to disturb her baby girl, that the doctor came by.

"Ms Knight? We have news on Kendall,"

Jennifer felt like fainting, she didn't know whether it was from fear or relief, or maybe both.


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Disclaimer:Not mine.  
>Authors Note:<strong>_Yes, I have finally decided to update this, after such a long longlong time. I have no excuse, really. And it is epically short. But, the update was a whim and completely unplanned. I had forgotten completely where I wanted to go with this story anyway. But, I think I will finish it over the next few weeks. Thank you to all the people that have reviewed and stuck with me over the journey of this story! I love you all! _

It was to darkness that Kendall Knight opened his eyes for the first time in three weeks. He had been in a medically induced coma until his body was healed enough that he wouldn't be in as much pain, he was now awake and alone.

Fear settled inside the boy, and he had absolutely no idea where he was. He didn't recognise the white walls for what they were, and he didn't remember anything that stood out enough as an explanation as to his memory blank.

With his head pounding, and an incessant beeping in his ears, Kendall tried to pull himself into a seated position, all the while wincing and gritting his teeth. Upon sitting up, he was able to get a better look around himself, and in the darkness, and through blurred eyes, he came to the conclusion that he was in hospital.

A heavy sigh fell from his dry, chapped lips, and he felt around for the call button. Might as well, get whatever this over with. Quicker than he expected, a nurse appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, thank goodness," her voice was soothing and happy, and the woman, in, perhaps, her late forties, with dark hair and blue eyes, smiled at him with a relief he had never expected from a complete stranger.

Before Kendall had a chance to ask any questions, the nurse set about, checking his vitals, and offering him medication for any pain he may be in. Once she had finished, she paused before leaving.

"Do you know what happened, Mr Knight?" she asked, her voice serious and gentle.

Kendall stared at her, thinking, thinking so hard that he couldn't think. All he could manage to draw up was a blank. He shook his head, eyes dropping to the sheet covering his body, twisting it between his pale and shaky fingers.

"You were in an explosion, Mr Knight. You were shot, and then blown up. You are so lucky to be alive," the utter compassion and disbelief was evident in the nurses voice, and she stared at him openly, admiration lining her features. "You're a force to be reckoned with, my dear,"

Kendall smiled at her, the words sinking in. He was in an explosion? He had been shot? Why did none of this sound familiar.

"Why don't I remember?" he asked her, speaking for the first time, his voice croaky, and tearing at his tender throat.

"There is an enormous chance of amnesia, Mr Knight. I'll let the doctor explain all about that, but, it's not unsurprising in the least, you were quite knocked around. Though, do you remember anything, even if it has nothing to do with the explosion?" she asked.

Kendall thought. He knew who he was. He knew he was in a band. He knew all there was to know. Except for being in an explosion. He remembered he had a stalker!

"Yes. I don't think what amnesia I have is terrible. Would my stalker have anything to do with the explosion?" he asked quietly, dreading the answer.

The nurse nodded mutely, and turned on her heal and left.

After his doctor came to see him, Kendall was sent off for an MRI, and then his mother and sister and friends were finally allowed to see him.

His mother was in tears, her smile so huge that it didn't leave her face, and Kendall was surprised that her face didn't hurt.

Katie refused to leave him; she climbed up on the bed next to him, and absolutely refused to move. He had one sore and bandaged arm wrapped around her shoulders and she clung to him like it was the last time she was ever going to see him.

The boys, they just sat and stared at him. All of them looked absolutely exhausted, like they hadn't had a wink of sleep the entire time he had been in a coma. His heart surged with compassion, and, he had never been so grateful for the friends he had.

They had explained the entire ordeal to him, and Kendall tried to figure out how he had managed to survive. How any of them had managed to survive.


End file.
